Competitive Sports Like Football Are Considered to Add a Lot of Value by Bringing People of Different States and Nationalities Together. Yet Some People Argue That These Sports Divide People on the Basis of Nationalities and Age Groups. What is Your Opinion?
Sample Response
Sports provide people with entertainment and something to get excited about and they are topics for conversation. They provide a common bond betweenfor complete strangers and a common team to cheer for. For example, Brazil has a high rate of unemployment and crime because of which Brazilians have low self-esteem. ButBut, when the World Cupworld cup starts, peoplethen the people forget all their problems. An amazing feeling of pride and patriotism fills themcomes in them and they cheer for their teamcheer their team together.
The Olympic Gamesgames are one of the best examples of how sporting events can bring people from different nations together. In ancient times, the Greeks and Romans would suspendinterrupt battles to participate in games. Even India and Pakistan forget their differences on the cricket ground and the players embrace each other after every match.
On the other hand, there are many examples of violence and conflictconflicts that such games have brought about. Football hooliganism or football violence is well known to all. The 1985 European Cup final between Liverpool and Juventus atin Heysel Stadium led to the deathsdeath of 39 supporters. Any incorrectwrong decision by the referee can lead to violence. A lot of emotion and passion are involved and rational judgement can be lostall reason and logic fly out of the window. That is why some people believehold the opinion that such games divide people.
To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that competitive games generally bring people together. There are a few incidentsincidences when over-patriotism prevailed and people becamegot divided , but suchbut such incidents can be counted on one handon the fingertips.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its clear opinion and its use of memorable examples to show both the unifying and divisive effects of competitive sport. Its main limitation is that some claims are sweeping and several expressions are unnatural, which weakens precision despite clear meaning. The highest-priority improvement is to develop the causal analysis more carefully while replacing formulaic or inaccurate phrases with natural academic language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is supported by relevant discussion of both perspectives and several concrete examples, though some claims need fuller qualification.
Explain more precisely how the examples prove that unity generally outweighs division instead of relying on broad assertions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses coherently from unifying effects to conflict and then a clear conclusion, with generally effective paragraphing.
Strengthen links between examples and claims so each paragraph develops one analytical line rather than accumulating illustrations.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of topic vocabulary, but inaccurate word choices and unnatural collocations recur across the response.
Replace expressions such as incidences, comes in them, and counted on the fingertips with precise academic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence forms with generally clear meaning, although control is uneven in some clauses and punctuation patterns.
Review article use, clause linking, and sentence boundaries to make complex structures consistently accurate and natural.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Competitive Sports Like Football Are Considered to Add a Lot of Value by Bringing People of Different States and Nationalities Together. Yet Some People Argue That These Sports Divide People on the Basis of Nationalities and Age Groups. What is Your Opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.