In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society? What is your opinion on that?
Sample Response
With the advancement of science and medicine, people are enjoying longer livesa longer life than before . In many countriesand in many countries, people are well aware of the population growth and as a result, have only one or two childrenas a result having only one kid or two. These reasons lead the fact that
Why this response received Band 3.0
The response shows some awareness of two demographic causes, using relevant vocabulary about medicine and population growth. However, it is only 43 words, ends as an incomplete sentence, and never discusses the positive or negative effects of an ageing population or states an opinion. The highest priority is to write a complete essay with a clear position, developed effect-based paragraphs, and a conclusion before refining grammar and phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The fragment mentions possible causes of population ageing but does not address its effects or provide the required opinion.
Write a complete response that compares positive and negative effects, states which side is greater, and supports that view.
Coherence and Cohesion
A few related cause ideas are joined in one unfinished sentence, so no sustained progression or essay organization is demonstrated.
Use an introduction, separate body paragraphs for key effects, and a conclusion, with each paragraph developing one central idea.
Lexical Resource
Some relevant terms are used, but the very short fragment demonstrates only a limited range and includes inaccurate phrasing.
Expand the topic vocabulary for economic, social, and healthcare effects and use natural phrases such as leads to the fact that.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts a complex sentence, but faulty coordination and an unfinished final clause prevent adequate grammatical control.
Write complete sentences with clear clause boundaries, then check verb forms and punctuation in longer structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society? What is your opinion on that?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.