Some companies reward employees for exceptional work by giving them extra money. Is this a good way of encouraging employees to work hard?
Sample Response
It is undeniable fact that motivation often helps to encourage people and it has been in vogue recently at a workplace, which is applied by employers to uplift the performance of employees. Therefore, each organisation uses diverse methods, such as financial incentives, to encourage workersmethods to encourage workers like incentives, money. However, money alone cannot beonly money cannot be the best way in every caseall the time for everyone.
On the one handOn one hand, employees who have financial goals can be easily motivated by moneywill be reinforced easily by money. The main reasonfirst and foremost case is that financial rewards appeal to many workersmoney is acceptable for many workers. One good illustration is that everyone works to earn a livingearn the livelihood. Consequently, extra money motivates people to work harderextra. Make one more case that money is a simple way to reward people. It is obvious that workers maywould compete to raise productivity or standards. Hence, the company’s standingranking and revenue will improve.
On the other hand, some people believe thathold the opinion that money does not always work. To begin with, if employees are already highly paid,highly paid then additional money may not be a sufficient incentivemoney may not be sufficient. Thus, employees maywill prefer other benefits. For instance, an award ceremony or dinner, club membership, travel ticket, car and so on. Moreover, money may set employees against each other, leading to conflict in the office. Therefore, it is difficult to determine a standard or basisdifficult to determine standard or basis for deciding whether to rewardfor the decision to reward an employee.
To sum up, I would like to say there are many other ways to motivate people because the amount may not correspondbecause amount may not bear relation to what the employee does. Companies should maintain certain rules for employee reinforcement.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is clearly organised and considers both the motivating effect of bonuses and their limitations, so the main message remains easy to follow. Its position is somewhat indirect, ideas are repetitive or briefly supported, and frequent awkward grammar and collocation reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to state a direct answer in the introduction and then develop two distinct reasons with specific, grammatically controlled examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is addressed from both sides, but the final position is indirect and several ideas receive only brief or repetitive support.
State clearly whether monetary rewards are effective overall and develop each reason with a specific workplace example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure is easy to follow, though progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical or repetitive.
Organise each body paragraph around one controlling idea and connect supporting sentences through meaning rather than stock transitions.
Lexical Resource
There is some range and an effort to use less common vocabulary, but frequent unnatural word choices and collocations weaken accuracy.
Prefer precise everyday workplace language and check fixed phrases involving pay, performance, motivation, and rewards.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms communicates the main ideas, but frequent article, clause, and sentence-construction errors limit control.
Build complete sentences with explicit subjects and verbs, then proofread articles and singular-plural forms systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some companies reward employees for exceptional work by giving them extra money. Is this a good way of encouraging employees to work hard?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.