These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
It is true that nowadays, fathers stay at homenowadays, the father stays at home to take care of their children and become househusbandsthe child and be the househusband, while mothers go out to workthe mother goes out to work to be the family’s breadwinner. I consider thisI take it as a very positive trend.
With changing social attitudesWith the change in social belief, more parents sendsent their daughters to pursue higher educationout for higher studies rather than to prepare for marriage. Nowadays, women work in many different streams, and they have become very successful in that like, Telemarketing, Makeup artist, Fashion-designing, and many more they can work better than a man. Equal rights impacted women were empowering the world and creating more job opportunities for women. It is not easy for someone to accept that women should workadopt that woman must work, but some women are not deterred by thisdo not care about this, and they readily enter the workforcequickly go to work, and this has become quite normal for mothersnormal for the mother to go to work and for fathers to stay at home and take care of their childrenthe father stays at home and takes care of the child. This decision is based on which partner earns morewho is the higher earner in the family and who has the higher earning potential and decides to work and support the family’s expenses. Many developed countries have adopted this trend, and Asia is yet to fully adopt the trendadopt the trend ultimately.
It is a positive outcome and should be treated as progress. Real progress would be impossible if both genders get equal, did not get hand in hand, and were not provided with equal opportunity. It is time that whoever earns more money and hashave a secure careercarrier should financially support the householdmust run the house and the other has to take careother have to take care of the family, not based on social and traditional belief.
In Conclusion, the changing roles in the family have been possible due to significant changes in social beliefs and the advancement of womensocial belief advancement of women, especially in education. This is a very positive trend that eliminates gender discrimination and advocates equal rights.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay maintains a clear positive position and gives relevant reasons, particularly women’s increased education and the practical importance of earning potential. However, development becomes repetitive and several long, inaccurate sentences obscure the argument. The highest priority is to organise each reason into a focused paragraph and express it through shorter, grammatically controlled sentences with more accurate word choices.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a clear positive view and relevant reasons, though several claims are generalised, repetitive, or only partly explained.
Develop two distinct reasons with specific explanation, then support the positive judgement with a concrete social or family benefit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall position and broad progression are apparent, but the very long second paragraph and repetitive linking weaken cohesion.
Divide the reasons into focused paragraphs and use one clear topic sentence and logical sequence for each main idea.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some range on employment, family roles, and equality, but frequent awkward collocations and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Use accurate combinations such as career security, fields of work, and traditional beliefs, and avoid imprecise or overgeneralised wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex sentences are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, tense, articles, and clause structure regularly reduce clarity.
Prioritise shorter complete sentences and check subject-verb agreement and clause boundaries before adding complex structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.