Nowadays many people follow fashion trends and think that it is very important. Is it a good or a bad development?
Sample Response
Perhaps no subject in the world causes as much controversy as fashion does. As humanity marchesAs human march intoon the new millennium, there has been a significant increase in the pursuit of fashiona significant growth to pursue fashion. Although it seems to be extremely vital, I firmly side with negative effects of the following fashion.
The first point to note is that without a doubt, trendy products can broaden our knowledge about innovative breakthroughsbreakthrough such as novel home appliances or the latest carsor latest cars to make people's lives easierfacilitate people's lifestyle but, the reality is the opposite. These products are contributed to showing people's status. As we are living in a competitive world, rivalry among families is on the rise and in this way families are willing to show that they are wealthyillustrate they are wealthy and up to date. Thus,Thus, that is why they have an inclination to emphasise fashionan inclination to the emphasis on fashion.
Another reason to highlight the downsidesjustification to indicate downsides of being trendy is a complete waste of time and moneybeing trendy is entirely wasting time and money. It should be considered that fashions are only available for a short perioda short time of a year and they will fade forever. So, spending a large portion of their budgeta great amount of budget on them is completely unrealistic. Recently,Meanwhile, recently, youngsters are more likely to be influenced by fashionfashion persuasive which might be due to peer pressure. They are not mature enough to consider whetherthink if these new things are worthwhilelucrative or not.
In addition, owing to the widespread of advertisement, people are easily cajoled by them and they are encouraged to follow the latest fashion. Therefore, the role of advertisements to create fashion as an essential part of life should be taken into consideration.
As suggested above, it can conclude that the benefits of being fashionable never outweigh the pitfallsbenefits of being fashionable never overshadow pitfalls.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay takes a clear negative position and offers several relevant reasons, including status competition, wasted money, peer pressure, and advertising. However, development is uneven, with some claims only briefly explained and one opening argument becoming unclear. The highest priority is to express each reason in simpler, more accurate language and then support it with a concrete consequence or example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and several relevant disadvantages are presented, though some ideas are only partly developed.
Build each main reason through a clear cause-and-effect explanation and add a specific supporting example where useful.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognizable progression and appropriate paragraph divisions, but some links are mechanical or logically unclear.
Use clearer topic sentences and ensure that every sentence within a paragraph directly advances the same central idea.
Lexical Resource
The essay attempts a broad and formal vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Prefer familiar, natural combinations and check whether ambitious words convey the intended meaning in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, clauses, and sentence construction affect clarity.
Prioritize accurate clause construction and agreement, using shorter sentences when a complex form cannot be controlled reliably.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays many people follow fashion trends and think that it is very important. Is it a good or a bad development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.