Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. To what extent do you agree with this opinion? How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Sample Response
Modern primary education should maintain a balancekeep the balance between young learners’ learning and playing to support their holistic growth. However, it is often argued that many elementary schools typically place a much larger emphasis onhave much larger proportion on formal classroom learning than fun learning activities. I strongly disagree with this perspective since technology and teacher development programsteachers’ development programs have contributed to more a more flexible and creative approachflexible and creative approach in teaching and learning processes. First, there areis a large number of educational videos, websites, and ready-to-use teaching resources available for teachers to support their teaching. These materials offer flexibility in terms of teaching methods and classroom activities.teaching styles and activities involved during the class. For instance, teachers may utilize games to teach complex concepts in mathematics and avoid delivering lessons using long and boring lectures. This strategy isare deemed to be more effective since students are easily engaged into games to help them understand the materials without too much pressure.materials without too much pressure. Moreover, educators nowadays have more opportunities to improve their pedagogical knowledge by joining teachers’ professional development programs. Through the programs they participate in, they can learn about how to create more engaging classrooms suitable for young learners. The improvement in classrooms may contribute to students’ overall well-being and positive academic outcomes. I also believebelive that using the strategy of learning while playing at elementary schools is crucial since young learners are generally curious and want to explore their surroundings. They may become stressed out if confined for a long time in a formal learning setting. Therefore, it is important to allow them to experienceallow them experience learning through fun and educational activities. For instance, they may be given an assignment to watch videosvidoes to learn about vocabulary and pronunciation. This approach will keep them motivated and help them enjoy their time with classmates. In a dynamic and supportive learning environment, learners are more likely to make progress in their academic journeys. In conclusion, modern elementary schools are no longer stuck in excessive formal learning due to the availability of creative teaching and learning resources for teachers. Moreover, professional development strategies have helped teachers to apply a more suitable approachapply more suitable approach for young students. These opportunities may help create fun and engaging classrooms for children in their early development.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay presents a clear position and effectively addresses both prompt questions with well-developed ideas and logical paragraphing. The response's greatest strength is its strong task coverage and natural academic vocabulary, while its primary limitation lies in minor grammatical and typing errors. To achieve a higher band, focus on eliminating basic subject-verb agreement errors and proofreading carefully for typing mistakes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The candidate clearly presents a well-supported position on both prompt questions, explaining why schools are not overly formal and why play is important.
Ensure all examples explicitly demonstrate the concept of play in the classroom rather than just digital learning tools.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information and ideas are organized logically, with clear paragraphing and effective progression throughout the essay.
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas smoothly between sentences without overusing standard transitions like 'Moreover'.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary is used flexibly and appropriately, though a few minor typos are present.
Proofread the response to eliminate small spelling lapses such as 'belive' and 'vidoes'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a good mix of complex sentence structures with generally clear meaning, though occasional grammatical errors occur.
Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and structure, such as correcting 'This strategy are deemed' to 'This strategy is deemed'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. To what extent do you agree with this opinion? How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.