Government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art events. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Professional sports andThe professional sports and the cultural programs have been in existence for a long time and have played an important part in people’s liveslife. Therefore, I disagree that the governmentdisagree that government should direct the funds allocated to such events towards encouraging sports and arts among school students. A number of arguments support my opinion.
To begin with, professional sports bringthe professional sports bring international prestigename and fame to a country. Countries that spendCountries, which spend a lot on such sports, often lead in sportare always leading in sports in the Olympic Games, the World Cup, and similar international competitionsthe Olympic Games, the World Cup and other such international competitions. Professional sports also boost the economy as millions of spectators come to watch and supportcome to see and cheer for their favorite teams in stadiumsin the stadiums. There are also significantbig benefits from advertisements on TV as millions of people sit in front of TV and watch sports shows.
Furthermore, cultural programs effectively helpthe cultural programs are effective ways that help people relax and reduce stress after work. Every day, there isare a variety of cultural performances happening all over the world. These fascinate thousands of young people as well as adults. These cultural programs not only enrich people’s mindsmind, but also spread our rich culture globally.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a clear position and presents coherent reasons why professional sport and cultural events can benefit a country and its people. However, at only 189 words it is substantially under length, lacks a conclusion, and barely examines the competing case for developing school students, leaving the central funding comparison insufficiently addressed. The priority is to add a developed paragraph that directly weighs student provision against professional events and then deliver a concise conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and relevant benefits are explained, but the under-length response addresses only one side of the funding comparison and ends without a conclusion.
Directly explain why supporting professional events should take priority over school provision, add sufficient development, and finish with a conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly through an introduction and two focused body paragraphs, but the response is incomplete and relies on some repetitive sequencing.
Complete the essay with a contrasting or evaluative paragraph and a conclusion that draws the argument together.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is generally varied and appropriate for sport, culture, economics, and wellbeing, despite repetition and several awkward collocations.
Use more precise alternatives for repeated terms such as professional sports and cultural programs, while refining phrases such as people's minds.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of simple and complex structures is used with generally clear control, though article, agreement, punctuation, and singular-plural errors recur.
Proofread noun phrases and complex clauses, especially articles, subject-verb agreement, comma placement, and plural possessive forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art events. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.