The number of people who are interested in and wearing fashionableclothes is increasing. Is this a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
More and more people today are interested in and have the disposable income to pay closer attention to their fashion choicestake greater care with their fashion choices. In my opinion, though many fashion companies exploit their workers, this is a positive development overall.
Those who criticise the fashion industry often point out its treatment of workers. The most famous fashion brands such asfashion brands like Louis Vuitton and Chanel (as well as footwear makers such as Nike and Adidas) outsource production to East Asia to reduce costsoutsource their labour at reduced costs to East Asia. Workers in their factories make subsistence wages and are notoriously mistreated, while the countries in question often have lax child labour lawslax child labour laws as well. ExploitativeExploitive fashion companies then charge heavily marked-up pricesmassively inflate prices for their products. Their actions cannot be controlled directly by consumers but nonetheless undermine every purchase made in good faith at a shopping mallevery innocent transaction at a shopping mall.
NeverthelessRegardless, fashion is an important aesthetic choice for ordinary people. The exploitation of workers ought to be regulated by governments and corporations, not consumers. Those who buy fashionable clothes are trying to express themselves through their attire, and the end resultattire and the end result of a more fashion-conscious public is a more visually appealing societygreater beauty for onlookers. No one would question the importance of beautiful buildings and public works of art, but fashionart but fashion is arguably more noticeable. Fashion gives not only individuals but also towns, cities, and nations a distinctive flair, without which the world would be blander and less beautiful.
In conclusion, the beauty fashion engenders outweighs any ethical considerations. Governments ought to properly regulate labour so that their citizens can shop and flaunt their clothesshop and flaunt with a clear conscience.
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response presents a confident, consistent position and develops a sophisticated contrast between labour exploitation and fashion's aesthetic and expressive value. Its main limitation is that the positive case rests heavily on a subjective claim about beauty, so the conclusion that this outweighs ethical harm is not fully demonstrated. The highest-priority improvement is to strengthen that comparison with a clearer causal justification or concrete support.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is directly answered through a clear position, relevant counterargument, and well-developed positive case.
Substantiate why aesthetic and expressive benefits outweigh worker exploitation rather than relying mainly on assertion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses fluently through sharply focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and sparingly.
Make the transition from the ethical drawback to the positive judgment slightly more explicit to sharpen the weighing process.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible, with sophisticated topic language and only isolated awkward phrasing.
Refine occasional expressions such as 'outsource their labour at reduced costs to East Asia' for maximum idiomatic precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is handled accurately, and the great majority of sentences are error-free.
Maintain this control while checking the punctuation of long coordinated sentences for even greater polish.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
The number of people who are interested in and wearing fashionableclothes is increasing. Is this a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.