Some people say that when deciding how taxes are spent, government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The allocation of tax-payer funds has been the topic of much debate. While some support the idea of prioritising investment in the healthcare system, opponents maintain that other areas deserve greater attention from the government. In this essay, I will elaborate on both sides of the debate and the reasons why I lean toward the latter opinion. On the one hand, prioritising investment in health care offers multiplemultifaceted benefits. Foremost among these is the availability of effective treatment for patients. GovernmentGovernmental budgets can be allocated to various projects encompassing drug research, medical equipment purchases and doctor training. These projects can consequentlyconsequently can enhance not only the effectiveness but also the affordabilitybut also affordability of medical treatmentremedies, contributing to the overall well-being of patientsoverall improvement of patients. Furthermore, additional funding can improveallows the enhancement of general public health. Specifically, it provides the necessary resourcesprovides necessary resources for various health-awareness campaigns to promote hygiene and healthy lifestyles, which are essential for fostering healthier citizens for more robust economic growthfor a more robust economic growth. However, some individuals argue for prioritizing other sectors such as education and national security over health concerns. They assert that education provides essential opportunitiesconditions for children to acquire vital skills and qualities needed to create a high-quality workforcequalities, which are conducive to a high-quality workforce. These skilled workers and intellectuals can contribute to addressing diverse social issuesmore diverse social issues including housing, the environment and poverty. In addition, national security ensures the safety and stability of a country. Without adequate resources allocated to this areadirected towards this issue, a nation might become vulnerable to various internal and external threats, ranging from terrorism to cyberattacks and geopolitical conflicts. In conclusion, both points of view have their own merits. Nevertheless, I am of the opinion that education and national defenceeducation and defense systems should be the top priorities regarding the use of taxpayers’ moneyin regards to investments made by tax-payers’ money as they can address various social problems and safeguard a country’s stability. It is also imperative for governments to consult various stakeholders to devise a comprehensive, transparent spending plancomprehensive transparent spending plan to ensure the effectiveness of these investments.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response offers a clear opinion, relevant development of both views, and a strong range of complex language. Its main weakness is the absence of paragraph breaks, which makes the progression visually dense despite effective internal signposting; several awkward collocations also reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to divide the essay into purposeful paragraphs, then revise unnatural phrases so the well-developed argument reads more fluently.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses both positions in depth, maintains a clear preference, and supports its main ideas with relevant explanations.
Keep the conclusion tightly focused on the stated preference by linking the final stakeholder recommendation more directly to the tax-priority question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a logical sequence and uses clear signposting, but presenting the entire essay as one paragraph significantly weakens organization.
Separate the introduction, each main viewpoint, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs with one controlling purpose each.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates broad topic vocabulary, though recurring awkward collocations sometimes make otherwise sophisticated ideas sound unnatural.
Revise phrases such as those concerning patient improvement, economic growth, and taxpayer-funded investment for more idiomatic precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex sentences is used with good control, and errors are generally minor and non-impeding.
Polish article use, parallel constructions, and punctuation between paired adjectives to increase accuracy across the longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that when deciding how taxes are spent, government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.