"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Every day, people are dying from various health problemshealth-related complexities and diseases due to the lack of proper health education and preventive measuresactions. In many cases, many of these diseases are preventablethose are preventable diseases. This is why the government should allocate fundsallocate a sum of money from the health budget for health education and preventive measures. I believe that it would offer substantial benefitsa substantial number of benefits, and this essay will prove it by analysing a country's economic perspectivethe economic point of view of a country and public-health outcomesthe health aspects of people.
To begincommence with, many nations spend an enormous amount of money to treat their citizens who are already sick. This staggering cost would fallreduce if the state introduces effective health educationcommences effective healthcare education by spending money on the health-education systemhealth teaching system. As an example, if the administration explains to their citizens that smoking and drinking are harmful to healthsmoking and drinking are so bad for humans through this educational programme, many people will end up quitting these habitsthe bad habits. As can be clearly seen from this illustration, the idea may bring considerable economic benefitscolossal economic benefit to the government.
Secondly, many governments treat patients with several serious diseases like diabetes and heart diseasediseases, and it takes up a large portion of the healthcare budget. However, before these health problems affectassault citizens, some preventive measures can reduce their incidencepreventive measures can prevent them. For example, exercise, sports, and proper diet plans can reduce the risk of such diseasesdecrease the chances of such diseases to a great extent. Building parks and playgrounds can encourage people to exerciseinfluence people to do exercise more often which can protect people from developing these diseases. This can be achieved by investing in preventive measures.
In conclusion, the government should spend money on health education and preventive measures from the health budget because it helps prevent such diseases from becoming widespreadprevent such diseases to become widespread while also reducing the cost of treating sick people.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay maintains a clear supportive position and organizes two relevant benefits into an easy-to-follow argument. Its main limitation is that it does not fully examine the proposal to divert a large proportion of funding or the consequences for treatment, and several awkward collocations and grammatical slips reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to engage directly with the scale and trade-off in the question while refining sentence-level control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear agreement and develops relevant economic and health benefits with suitable examples, but it only partly addresses the proposed funding trade-off.
Explain why diverting a large proportion of the budget is justified despite the continuing need to treat people who are already ill.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices make the relationship between the two main reasons easy to follow.
Use less mechanical signposting and make the transition from prevention to budget allocation carry more of the logical connection.
Lexical Resource
The essay shows a good range of topic vocabulary, but recurring unnatural combinations such as descriptions of health education and disease reduce precision.
Prefer natural collocations such as public health education, reduce treatment costs, and develop a disease rather than choosing inflated wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures and remains clear, although errors in agreement, verb patterns, and clause control recur across paragraphs.
Proofread especially for government-pronoun agreement and verb patterns such as reduce costs, encourage people to exercise, and prevent diseases from spreading.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.