It is sometimes said that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The notion that people who travel abroad are more tolerant and have a better understandingcomprehension of other cultures and faiths has been a topic of considerable discussion. In this essay, I will agree with the view and express that international travel does indeed foster greater tolerance and understanding among individuals.
One significant reason why travelling outside one's own country promotes tolerance and understanding is exposure to diverse culturesis the exposure to diverse cultures. When individuals venture beyond their familiar surroundings, they are immersed in new customs, traditions, and ways of life. For instance, a person visiting Japan from Europe may encounter unfamiliar social norms and forms of etiquettedifferent social norms and etiquette. Through this experience, they come to appreciate the rolesignificance of bowing as a gesture of respect and learn about the value placed on harmony in Japanese culture. Such encounters enable travellers to understand and respect cultural differences, fostering a sense of tolerance and acceptance. Moreover, interacting with people withfrom various backgrounds and beliefs broadens one's perspective on global issues, fostering empathy and compassion towards those whose challenges and experiences differ from their ownthose who face different challenges and experiences.
Another compelling way international travel develops tolerancefactor contributing to the development of tolerance through international travel is the opportunity to challenge stereotypes and prejudices. Often, misconceptions about other cultures are rooted in limited knowledge or exposurerooted in ignorance or lack of exposure. For example, a person from a Western country may have preconceived notions about Middle Eastern culture based on media portrayals. However, when they visit a Middle Eastern country, they might discover a warm and hospitable community, breaking down stereotypes and dispelling unfounded prejudices.
In conclusion, exposure to diverse cultures and the opportunity to challenge stereotypes and prejudices support personal growth and increased empathycreate a conducive environment for personal growth and increased empathy. International travel not only broadens one's horizons but also nurtures a sense of acceptance and appreciation for the richness of human diversity. Thus, travelling abroad positively influences an individual's level of tolerance and understanding of othersdifferences.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear position and well-developed use of relevant cultural examples to explain how travel may build tolerance. Its main limitation is some repetition of the central ideas and vocabulary, particularly around tolerance, understanding, and fostering empathy. The highest-priority improvement is to add greater analytical nuance, such as acknowledging that exposure alone may not change attitudes, while expressing the argument more concisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay fully addresses the question, maintains an unequivocal position, and supports both main reasons with relevant examples.
Introduce a brief qualification about when travel may fail to change attitudes to make the position more critically developed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, with focused paragraphs and clear progression from cultural exposure to challenged stereotypes.
Condense repeated explanations of tolerance and empathy so that each sentence adds a distinct step to the argument.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and precise, particularly in discussing cultural exposure, stereotypes, prejudice, and personal growth.
Limit repetition of words such as tolerance, understanding, and fostering by using more varied and concise formulations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple structures are combined accurately, and grammatical control remains strong throughout the response.
Replace the slightly mechanical introductory construction with a more direct thesis while preserving the accurate sentence control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is sometimes said that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.