Some people prefer to directly help or support people who need it in the local community, however, others prefer to give money to national or international charities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Today poverty is still on full display anywhere in the world, even from the sparkling and vibrant streets of Los Angeles or to the less glamorous district of Mumbai city. In the fight against poverty, help is availablehelp is at hand. However, the question remains whethera bone of contention remains whether people should directly support the underprivileged or donate to charities. This essay will look at this issue from both perspectives.
There are clear justifications for why some donorsfunders would rather help the poor directlyby themselves. FirstFirst of all, help is given instantly because it involves no paperworkas there is no paperwork, no collection, and no delivery involvedno collection, no delivery involved. It would also mean that no money is divertedlost into the pockets of corrupt government officials. SecondlySecond of all, it has been found that a considerable number of recipients of aid programs spend money on children’s education or healthcare, rather than alcohol or cigarettes. Therefore, their development can be promoteddevelopment can be easily promoted.
However, the idea of giving cash directly to the poor is also treated with skepticism by many people who insteadotherwise suggest that money or any other type of donation should be given to charity organisations. Their main argument is that for the people whose lives have always been devoid of material possessions or money, knowing how to manage the financial aidaids is difficultout of the question. In many casesThere are many cases where poor people use the money to start businesses; however, bankruptcy can resultbankruptcy is imminent due to their lack of knowledge regarding financial management. For this reason, charities, which can distribute the funds more effectively, play a prominent roleprove their prominent roles in improving the living standards of the impoverished.
To conclude, I am inclined to think that giving money to charities is a better way to reduceend poverty as it addresses the deeper causesdeals with deeper causes of the issue in the long run.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear organisation and consistent preference for charity-based support, with both perspectives addressed through relevant reasons. Its main limitation is that some claims are only briefly justified and occasionally blur direct local assistance with unrestricted cash transfers. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each side with more precise cause-and-effect explanation and a concrete example tied closely to the local-versus-charity distinction.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and a clear opinion is maintained, although some supporting claims remain general or only partly connected to the precise contrast in the task.
Develop one well-chosen example for each approach and explicitly show how it supports direct local help or organised charity work.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a clear conclusion, with effective overall cohesion.
Strengthen links within the body paragraphs by making the relationship between each claim, explanation, and consequence more explicit.
Lexical Resource
A broad and generally precise vocabulary supports the argument, though several collocations such as financial aids and prove their prominent roles are awkward.
Prioritise natural collocations and accurate word forms, especially when discussing funding, aid distribution, and institutional effectiveness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is used with good overall control, and the occasional errors do not impede communication.
Refine preposition, article, and countability choices in longer sentences to make already clear ideas more idiomatic and exact.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people prefer to directly help or support people who need it in the local community, however, others prefer to give money to national or international charities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.