One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
The global population will be eight billion soon, a number far higher thana staggeringly high number than the ideal population that the world can support, and advanced medical care has, in additionon top of that, increased people's life expectancy, making the situation more seriousmaking the situation graver than ever before. Higher life expectancy, as a result of modern medical care, although often regarded as a benefitthough thought to be a blessing, actually has more negative consequences foron our economy and society. This essay will explore both the advantages and disadvantages of this and argue that its disadvantages are greateropine that it has more disadvantages.
The first advantage of increased life expectancy is that it allows people to live longer and letslet them share their experiences with younger family membersthe younger members. These older family membersThese senior members can also care for childrenlook after the children and help developcontribute to developing their ethical and moral characteristics. Moreover, they can sometimes remain active and contribute to the national economy. For instance, many elders start a shop or a business after their retirement and it has a positive contribution to creating jobs.
However, the disadvantages of a higher proportion of older peoplea higher proportion of the aged population are profound and widespread. As the proportion of senior citizens increases in a country, the economy has to bear greater straintake more strain to cover their living costssupport their living and healthcare. Moreover, higher life expectancy keeps more older people employedkeeps more aged people in jobs and thus reduces career opportunities for younger people. The social consequences of this trend are also very serioushigh. Since young people are busy with their studies and work, they have little time to care for their aged parents and grandparents. As a result, those people do not get the time and attention they need from their family membersenough time from their family members that they need.
To conclude, advanced medical care has blessed us with higher life expectancy but has also created profound economic and social problems. I believe the disadvantages of higher life expectancy far outweigh its benefits when we judge things from practical, economic and societal points of view.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s clearest strength is its consistent position, supported by relevant advantages and a broader discussion of economic and social disadvantages. Its main limitation is that several claims remain general or only briefly justified, while some awkward phrasing reduces precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop the comparative reasoning more explicitly, showing why the disadvantages carry greater weight than each stated benefit.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both sides, maintains a clear position, and supports its main ideas with relevant explanations.
Compare the benefits and drawbacks more explicitly and develop the economic claims with more precise causal support.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, balanced body structure, and consistent conclusion.
Use more varied internal linking so relationships between claims feel less reliant on standard transition markers.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently wide vocabulary conveys social and economic arguments clearly, despite several imprecise collocations.
Replace awkward combinations such as ‘take more strain’ with natural, context-specific phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is generally controlled, and errors rarely interfere with meaning.
Check comparative forms and agreement within coordinated clauses to remove occasional grammatical slips.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.