Whether or not someone achieve their aims is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The debate over whetherThe debate whether luck is the primary determinant of success in achieving targets has been ongoinghas been heated constantly. My position is that hard work and determination are far more important than luck, while we must not consider luck as the main determinantprecursor of the attainment of one’s goals.
To begin with, the role of diligence and determinationthe role of being diligent and determined is more significant than luck. Thomas Edison, one of the greatest inventors in the 20th century, is an excellent example of this viewsuch a notion. He conducted numerous experiments with the filament until a successful light bulbthe finest light bulb was produced, andproduced; and his hard work, rather than luck, was acknowledged by people around the worldall the human race. Another clear piece of evidenceAnother clear evidence of this notion is the case of Nguyen Ngoc Ky. This disabled man could not write with his handswrite by hand, but he was determined enough to teach himself to write with his foot. The fact that he would then becomebecame one of the greatest teachers in the history of education in Vietnam provides concrete evidence thatprovides a concrete foundation that even with bad luck, determination can lead to the achievement of goalscould result in goal achievement.
By contrast, the notion that fortune plays a major partthe notion of fortune playing a major part is just a fallacy. One clear reason is that although there may have been a number of people who have reached their goalsa number of people reaching their goals with good luck, such good luck in most cases only comes to people who have worked hard. Take Mendeleev as an example. As a research chemist, he worked tirelessly for decadesfor a few decades, until one day in his dream, the complete arrangement of the elements appeared. Wewe could ascribe the appearance of this arrangement to luck, but no one could deny the immense effort that Mendeleev had madethe extreme effort that Mendeleev had exerted. Another clear reason for my belief is that luck could only lead people to short-term achievements, and there is no guarantee thatthere is nothing to ascertain that it would continue to exist in the long run. The over-reliance on good fortune, as a result, would prevent people from achieving their long-term or lifelonglife-long aims.
To conclude, I think the importance of luck in determining goal attainment is overstated, while there are much more significant factors to consider, namely hard work and determination.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear, consistent position and develops it through logically organised, relevant examples, with particularly strong control of progression. Its main limitation is that several claims are overstated and some otherwise ambitious wording and sentence structures are awkward or inaccurate. Prioritise more precise qualification of arguments and careful editing of collocations, agreement, and verb forms so the sophisticated ideas are expressed with consistently natural accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and the central argument is extended with relevant explanations and illustrative examples.
Qualify sweeping claims about luck and success so the argument remains persuasive rather than absolute.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally guide the reader smoothly.
Reduce repeated framing such as references to clear reasons, evidence, and notions to make cohesion less conspicuous.
Lexical Resource
A wide and ambitious vocabulary conveys abstract arguments precisely overall, despite several unnatural collocations.
Choose more idiomatic combinations for phrases concerning debate, evidence, achievement, and recognition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is handled effectively, although several noticeable agreement, form, and punctuation errors remain.
Proofread complex sentences for verb forms, countability, capitalisation, and subject-verb agreement.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Whether or not someone achieve their aims is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.