With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?
Sample Response
Due to the development of healthcare infrastructure, the global population is getting older due to which an elderly segment of the population is more noticeable. This brings some possible problems, such as a burden on healthcare systems and insufficient job opportunities, and, on the other hand, it offers the solution of securing financial resources for old people’s services and establishment of more employment agencies.
To begin with, the older population will need long-term care facilities and treatment for geriatric diseases. This, in turn, may cause considerable demand for these servicesa great deal of demand on the service and even lead to service disruptions due to oversubscriptionclosures due to oversubscription. Besides, older peoplethe old have a wealth of knowledge and experience in various fields, making it difficult for younger people to find jobsfor the young to find jobs. For instance, in an Asian country, due to a large number of older workers in the workplaceold persons in the workplace, younger people could not find jobsthe young generation could not find jobs and thus decided to migrate to other countries.
However, it is important to consider proactive solutionslook at the possible proactive solutions first. The government can reduce the strain on health systems by investing substantially in health-related servicesmaking a huge investment in health-related services. This can be done by making such facilities available and affordable for the elderly so that their needs are met. Apart from that, the authorities should provide a number of job opportunities for all people. In this way, this could helpit will be easy to see the young people's unemployment rates drop drastically.
In conclusion, the growing elderlyaging population can lead to increased medical care costs and the youth's joblessness, but these problems can be tackled with financial backing from the government and job creation.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is clearly structured and offers relevant discussion of healthcare pressure alongside practical government action, with generally effective control of complex sentences. However, it never states directly whether society will be able to cope, and the employment argument is only partly convincing and developed through broad claims. The priority is to give an explicit answer to the first question and build solutions that respond precisely to the ageing-population challenge.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses problems and management measures, but its position on whether society can cope remains implicit and some ideas are insufficiently developed.
State a direct answer to the coping question and explain how each proposed measure would make that outcome achievable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, although some logical links within the employment discussion are weak.
Use each body paragraph for one tightly defined problem-and-response chain rather than shifting between loosely connected claims.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows useful range, but several unnatural collocations and vague expressions reduce precision.
Use more natural phrases such as 'place heavy demand on services' and replace general wording with precise policy terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex forms is generally controlled, with errors or awkward constructions rarely affecting meaning.
Simplify overloaded clauses and check article and noun-phrase construction to make complex sentences more natural.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.