Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?
Sample Response
Gone are the days when people used to spend all their lives in the same city and the tour was a word for rich people only. Now, with the technological advancements, cheaper flight, and ever increasing awareness towards other states and countries, the world has become a smaller place. Having travelled since childhood, I can definitely say that the tourism industry is changing fast and this is attracting a lot more travellers each year. This essay delves into the reasons behind increasing travellers and benefits of travelling. Firstly, people want to get refreshed quite often due to their increasing workload and they have easy access to information they want. These are the two main reasons people travel more frequently than ever before. It is evident that busier workdays and the hectic lifestyle can easily drain one out. People have started to work more and earn more as compared to earlier days. Also, with the wave of information that the internet has brought, everyone is better informed about the world outside their office or home. These things have acted as precursors to the increase in the number of people who opt travelling as a holiday get away. Second, tourism is taken very seriously in several countries now. Countries like Australia and France have travel & tourism as an important part of their economy. Tourism contributes to around 30% of the national GDP for Dubai. Thus, people have started picking up careers in the realm of tourism, as travel bloggers, trip organisers, etc. I myself have met people who travel for a living and love doing so. These factors have also led to accrual in the travelling population. I believe travelling exposes us to different people and their traditions, outside or even within a country. India itself is a collection of myriad customs, flavours and languages. Visiting places one has never been to and meeting people with different beliefs broadens our perspectives. Introduction to different cultures catalyses respect towards the mutual differences. It helps us understand people in a new light, which can be very helpful to alleviate tensions during political or cultural conflicts. In a nutshell, I would say that travelling is equivalent to education. It can bring people closer to each other despite their differences, which is very important in today’s global world.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify historical claim Original: the tour was a word for rich people only Suggested revision: travel was considered affordable only for rich people Why it matters: The original expression is unnatural and does not clearly convey that travel was financially exclusive.
- 2. Use concise general noun Original: the technological advancements Suggested revision: technological advances Why it matters: The shorter phrase is more natural for a general reference to progress in technology.
- 3. Use plural noun Original: flight Suggested revision: flights Why it matters: The countable noun should be plural when referring generally to lower-cost air travel.
- 4. Correct awareness preposition Original: towards Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The noun “awareness” takes “of” before the thing understood.
- 5. Use formal adverb Original: fast Suggested revision: rapidly Why it matters: “Rapidly” is more appropriate than the informal use of “fast” in an academic essay.
- 6. Use formal quantity phrase Original: a lot more travellers Suggested revision: many more travellers Why it matters: “Many more” is a more concise and formal expression for a large increase.
- 7. Use correct noun phrase Original: reasons behind increasing travellers Suggested revision: reasons for the growing number of travellers Why it matters: The original incorrectly uses the participle “increasing” to modify people rather than their number.
- 8. Add parallel article Original: and benefits of travelling Suggested revision: and the benefits of travelling Why it matters: The second coordinated noun phrase needs “the” to parallel “the reasons.”
- 9. Use natural reflexive phrase Original: get refreshed Suggested revision: refresh themselves Why it matters: People “refresh themselves”; “get refreshed” is unnatural in this context.
- 10. Use plural workload Original: workload Suggested revision: workloads Why it matters: The plural possessive “their” refers to multiple people with individual workloads.
- 11. Generalise in plural Original: the hectic lifestyle Suggested revision: hectic lifestyles Why it matters: The plural is needed for a general statement about the lives of many people.
- 12. Use concise comparison Original: as compared to earlier days Suggested revision: than in the past Why it matters: The comparative “more” is completed naturally with “than,” making the phrase more concise.
Suggested Rewrites
- the tour was a word for rich people only travel was considered affordable only for rich people
- the technological advancements technological advances
- flight flights
- towards of
- fast rapidly
- a lot more travellers many more travellers
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response addresses both questions with a clear sequence of reasons and a well-developed account of how travel broadens cultural understanding. Its strongest feature is the range of relevant ideas and vocabulary, while the main limitation is the absence of paragraphing and some imprecise collocations that make the argument feel crowded. The highest-priority improvement is to divide the causes and benefits into distinct paragraphs and express each point more naturally.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the growth in travel and its benefits to travellers are addressed with relevant, extended ideas, although some supporting material about tourism careers is less directly focused.
Keep every example centred on why more ordinary people travel or what travellers personally gain, and remove peripheral economic detail.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly from causes to benefits and conclusion, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph limits structural clarity.
Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, reasons, traveller benefits, and conclusion, with one clear central focus in each.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a broad vocabulary and several effective topic-specific choices, alongside noticeable unnatural collocations and occasional imprecision.
Replace strained phrases such as increasing travellers and accrual in the travelling population with simpler, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are used with generally good control, though errors with articles, plurals, prepositions, and verb complements recur.
Check noun phrases and verb patterns systematically, especially forms such as cheaper flights and opt to travel.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.