Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?
Sample Response
In contemporarycurrent society, the life expectancy in Westernwestern countries has increased significantly. Also, fewer babies are being born, causing the proportionrelative percentage of elderly people to increase. These people have to be taken care of, causing the question to rise whether this number of elderly people can be cared for.
When people grow older, they can also develop more health issues, resulting in more visits to doctors and hospitals, and increased use of pharmaceuticalsan increased usage of pharmaceuticals. Due to the current large numbers of elderly people, the pressure on healthcare systemspressure put onto health care systems is increasing. In many western countries, the state provides most healthcare servicesprovides most of the health care system. Therefore, withTherefore with increasing numbers of old people, a larger share of state fundinghigher percentages of state funding have to be allocated to health care and this could cause shortfalls in other areas, for example education. This change in the distribution of money can therefore impact society negatively.
Society should be able to handle these changes. Governments will have been able to predict the changing demographic situations in their countries and plan accordingly. This might indeed lead to other sectors in society having money taken away from them, but caring for the elderly is one of the key responsibilities of today’s governments. For the future, it might be necessary to ensure that an extra insurance charge is levied on people’s salaries in order that any future financial shortfall is met. This would be unpopular, but would allow governments to have the necessary funds available.
In conclusion, society today and in the future should be well able to deal with caring for its elderly populationtheir elderly. It is only a question of careful long-term forecasting and planning.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear position, explains the demographic and financial pressures coherently, and proposes a credible funding measure with strong control of language. Its main limitation is that the management discussion is somewhat narrow and a few expressions are slightly awkward. To strengthen an already accomplished answer, develop one additional practical response and refine the occasional unnatural collocation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers both parts of the question with a clear position, relevant analysis, and a well-explained financial management proposal.
Broaden the solution slightly by developing one complementary practical measure, such as preventive care or workforce planning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from demographic context to consequences, management, and conclusion, with cohesive devices used smoothly throughout.
Make the transition into the proposed solution even more explicit so the shift from problem analysis to management is immediately signalled.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys complex demographic and financial ideas effectively, with only occasional slightly awkward collocations.
Refine phrases such as the question to rise and pressure put onto health care systems into more idiomatic academic English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the response contains only minor, non-impeding grammatical lapses.
Polish punctuation after introductory connectors and review occasional tense choices to make already strong sentences fully natural.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.