Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? To what extent do you support this development?
Sample Response
The issue of marrying and having children before one's thirtiesThe issue of early weddings followed by a pregnancy before thirties (LR1) has grown in importance over the past few yearsover the past few years (GR1) / (TR1). This is a common dream among many womencommon dream between many women (LR2), but nowadays this aspiration is changing substantiallythis dream is facing drastic changes due to many factors. Globalization, economic crises and increasing population numbers (TR2) are contributing to thatare contributing for that (LR3). I strongly believe that couples need to be aware of and convinced about their situationaware and convicts of their situation (LR4) before decidingbefore decide (GR2) to have children before thirties.
Although an early marriage and pregnancy is a desire for many couples, there are some factors that need to be considered (CC1). Firstly (CC2), due to the world economic crises which made the number of available jobs decrease considerably and also the real state industry increasing prices exponentially, directly affecting millions of people (CC3) and their dreams of constitute (LR5) a family and buy the first residence. Secondly, the cost of living is reaching levels that people on average salaries cannot affordcost of living is reaching numbers that average salaries cannot afford (TR3). For example, a study by Boston Universitya study from Boston university (TR4) showed that nearly one third of the newlywed couples under thirtynewlyweds in which the couples were (GR3) below thirties, do not intend to have children. The central reason behind this is (CC4) the uncertainty of being able to (GR4) provide a decent life for their children (LR6).
However (CC5), this scenario is a tendency for our reality (LR7) these days, I firmly believe that this situation is a negative development (TR5) in the society. Many families are being formed later or not at allbeing constituted late or even not starting. For example, women having babies after the age of 35 face riskswomen (TR6) having their babies after 35 years old is a risk to both the mother's and the baby's healthnot only for the mother’s health (GR5), as well for the baby (GR6). The child can be born with a malformationborn with malformation (TR7) and very weak at risk of developing diseaseswith a risk to develop diseases due to their fragile immune system (LR8). On the same way the mother, that can face serious health problems and also a big risk of losing the child.
To conclude (CC6 & 7), a mature decision must be made by the couplea mature decision must be made for (GR7) the couple. Not only the desire of an early marriage with many sons but, more important than that if they would be able to provide the basics for the children like a health environment, education and support (TR8). In my opinion a balance between the desire versus reality must be taken intoin consideration before making a decisionbefore take a decision (TR9). After that within the couple limits (GR8) / (LR9), decide a proper age to get married and have their children.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers a recognisable position and relevant economic and health reasons, with a clear broad paragraph structure and attempts at complex language. However, the stance is inconsistent in the introduction, several ideas are loosely or awkwardly developed, and frequent grammatical and word-choice errors strain clarity. The highest priority is to establish one precise position and express each supporting point in complete, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses the development and presents relevant reasons, but its initial position is unclear and some supporting claims are insufficiently precise.
State clearly whether delayed marriage and childbirth are supported, then link every reason directly to that judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides an overall progression, but faulty linking, sentence fragments, and loosely connected points weaken cohesion within paragraphs.
Build each paragraph around one controlling idea and connect complete sentences with accurate logical transitions.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some range, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision and sometimes strain meaning.
Prioritise accurate common collocations such as real estate, start a family, and take into consideration.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, prepositions, and verb forms limit control.
Write complete main clauses first, then check every verb form and subject-verb agreement before adding subordinate detail.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? To what extent do you support this development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.