When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
When planning a new townDuring the initial phases of urban design, some believe that public parks and sports facilities should take priority over shopping centres as recreational spaces for citizensas a means of citizens’ recreation. Personally, I believe a balance between the twoa mixture of both should be incorporated to generate revenue and support the wellbeing of the general populationin order to generate revenue and ensure the wellbeing of the general populace.
Firstly, whilst it should never be the main goal of a town, it is important for urban centrescenters to generate revenue through shopping centres in order to fund infrastructure projects and maintain existing buildings. This would not be possible with the development of free public parks or sports facilities alone, for shopping centres bring in jobs and create tax revenue in ways that public recreational projects cannot. Many people travel to Bangkok, for instance, in order to shop high quality goods at low pricesat a cheap price - prioritizing public parks over this would leave the country with an underdeveloped tourism industrywould cost the country an underdeveloped tourism industry, making a dent in the country’s main source of income.
On the other hand, it is not enough to merely aim to generate revenue, and it should be spent on something that benefits the general populace, like public facilities that are free to use and that encourage wellbeing overall. Public parks have multiple health benefits such as improvinghelping cardiovascular health and improving mental health. Furthermore, public facilities may encourage tourists to visit, increasing revenue as they partake in the town’s services. This is why a city such as London, despite being highly industrialisedvery industrial, still contains large parks in order to help preserve the wellbeing of its inhabitants.
In general, I argue that although there is a need for economic growth and thus a reason to build shopping centres, it is also imperative that the local population can reap the benefits of public parks and sports facilities - hence, the perfect city should strive to have a good balance between the twoa good mixture of both.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its coherent, nuanced case for combining commercial and public recreational development, expressed through flexible and mostly precise language. Its main limitation is that the degree of agreement with the stated priority remains somewhat indirect, and a few examples shift from planning a new town to broader national tourism. The highest-priority improvement is to weigh the two priorities explicitly and tie every example to the proposed town-planning decision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear balanced position and develops relevant economic and wellbeing arguments, though its answer to the precise priority question is somewhat indirect.
State exactly how far parks and sports facilities should take priority, then compare their importance with shopping centres using the same planning criteria.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is easy to follow, with well-focused paragraphs, clear progression, and cohesive devices that rarely draw attention to themselves.
Sharpen the transition between revenue generation and public spending so the second body paragraph follows even more directly from the first.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and flexible across urban planning, economics, and health, with occasional imprecise collocations such as “helping cardiovascular health” and “partake in the town’s services.”
Use more exact combinations such as “improving cardiovascular health” and “using local services,” and avoid overstating descriptions such as “very industrial.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are handled with strong accuracy and variety, and the few reference or punctuation lapses do not impede meaning.
Clarify pronoun reference in sentences such as the one about generating and spending revenue, and replace informal hyphens with conventional punctuation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.