Some countries are considering imposing curfews in which teenagers will not be allowed outdoors at night unless an adult accompanies them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this policy?
Sample Response
In certain parts of the world, adolescents are not allowed to go outside at night without the supervision of an adult for security reasonsowing to the consideration of security. This essay follows the given statement as there are manifold reasons to substantiate it.
Compared with the pastCompared to the bygone days, the crime rate is increasingis on the increase among teens. Most of the youngsters are in the clutches of the drug mafia and immoral activities of the lack of parent’s supervision. In some parts of the world, governments have takenthe government has taken some necessary actions to reduce crime among young peopleprevent the crime rate in youngsters. As part of these measuresAs a part of that, the night curfew has been implemented, and the ruling body has succeeded in reducinghas triumphed to reduce child abuse. Although the adolescents are aware of the insecure situation in the world, they are accompanied by their peer group as they might lead to sexual abuse or drug addiction. For instance, the recent survey conducted by the cosmopolitan magazine reportsshares that children who consult psychologiststhe children consulting the psychologist are either addicted to drugs or victims of sexual abuseembarrassment.
Furthermore, adolescents get involved in dangerous acts such ashorrifying events like throwing people into pools for fun which can be fatal if the victims cannot swimwhich can cause death if they do not know swimming. And all these activitiesthese all activities happenhappened during night time when there are no adults around them. On the other hand, if teenagers are accompanied by an adultif an adult accompanies teenagers, they are less likely to be approached by criminals. This protects them from many dangersdevils. Also, parents or guardians who accompany their childrenthe parent or guardian who accompanies their children can keep a tab on their activities and warn them when they overstep boundariescross the limits.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear supportive position and offers relevant safety-based reasons for requiring adult accompaniment. Its main limitation is that some claims are unclear or weakly connected, and the essay ends without a concluding synthesis; the priority is to organise the argument around two clearly explained risks, use credible examples, and finish by restating the precise extent of agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the policy with a clear position and relevant safety arguments, but some support is implausible or insufficiently developed.
Develop two credible reasons in depth and add a conclusion that clearly restates the extent of agreement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The broad progression is understandable, but faulty logical links and the abrupt ending weaken overall cohesion.
Give each paragraph one controlling idea and connect every example explicitly to how the curfew would reduce that risk.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some range, but frequent inappropriate collocations and imprecise wording sometimes obscure the intended meaning.
Replace inflated expressions with accurate topic language and check that each verb naturally combines with its noun.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence structures is attempted, although frequent errors in tense, reference, articles, and clause construction reduce accuracy.
Use shorter complex sentences and check pronoun reference and verb tense systematically during revision.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some countries are considering imposing curfews in which teenagers will not be allowed outdoors at night unless an adult accompanies them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this policy?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.