Some people believe that it is a good idea that old people continue to work if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is sometimes asserted that the elderly should remain in the workforce for as long as they can. I mostly agree with this assertion because ofassertion considering the financial and mental benefits despite some health concerns. The main reason I supportThe foremost rationale for my approval of people delaying their retirement lies in their improved finances. Those who continue working can maintain some incomemaintain their income level to an extent through a fixed salary and potential bonusesby receiving a fixed salary as well as potential bonuses from their employers. In some instances, these earnings allow them to cover daily expenses more comfortably, afford a higher standard of living or accumulate savings for potentiallyoften costly medical bills and the increasedincrease cost of living due to inflation. Another reason whyAnother reason for why I support older people continuing their jobsold people continuing their job when it is feasible is the positive impact this hasits positive impact on their mental health. Specifically, work responsibilities offer older workers opportunitiesoffer the working elderly the opportunities to use their cognitive abilitiescapabilities including observation, evaluation and reasoning. As these workers can keep their mindsmind engaged more regularly, they might hinder the onset of age-related conditions such as dementia for a healthier mental state. However, I acknowledge that there are concerns regarding old employees’ physical health. As people age, many of them experience a number of chronicperennial health issues, ranging from arthritis to heart failure. If these people choose to remain at work, they generally face an increased risk of these conditions deteriorating more rapidly due to the demands of workdue to work requirements and insufficient time for necessary rest. Consequently, not only does their work productivity suffer, but the overall quality of life may also decline, impacting their comfort and well-being. In conclusion, I am largely in agreement with the idea of the elderly prolonging their careerscareer as long as they are able because it provides them with a more stable source of income and chances to stay mentally active despite the possibility of health complicationseven at the expense of possible health complications. That is why older people should choose jobspeople should choose jobs that suit their own physical conditions and manage to strike a balance between work and health to ensure a more fulfilling life.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response answers the question directly with a consistent, nuanced position and develops financial, cognitive, and physical-health considerations in convincing detail. Vocabulary and sentence structures are varied and generally controlled, though several awkward collocations and agreement errors reduce precision, and the absence of paragraph breaks weakens presentation. The highest priority is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs while refining less natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and the main benefits and health qualification are relevant, extended, and well supported.
Strengthen the evaluation further by explaining more explicitly why the stated benefits outweigh the acknowledged physical risks.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through distinct reasons and a counterpoint, with effective internal linking, but the response is presented as one continuous paragraph.
Separate the introduction, each main idea, and the conclusion into purposeful paragraphs to make the argument's structure immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of topic-specific vocabulary conveys precise ideas, although occasional awkward collocations and word-form choices remain noticeable.
Refine combinations such as those concerning living costs, retirement, and mental activity so that sophisticated vocabulary sounds consistently natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used flexibly and mostly accurately, with only occasional agreement, determiner, and singular-plural errors.
Check noun number and agreement in longer sentences, particularly references to costs, opportunities, minds, and careers.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that it is a good idea that old people continue to work if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.