Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is believed that men and women should have the same educational opportunities. However, I do not agree with the idea of accepting equal proportions of each gender in every university subject. This essay will explain the reasons why admitting equal numbers of male and female students in every major is impractical.
First, having the same number of men and women on all degree courses is simply unrealistic. Student numbers on any course depend on the applications that the institution receives. If a university decided to fill courses with equal numbers of males and females, it would need enough applicants of each gender. In reality, many courses are more popular with one gender than the other, and it would not be practical to aim for equal proportions. For example, nursing courses tend to attract more female applicants, and it would be difficult to fill these courses if fifty percent of the places needed to go to males.
Apart from the practical concerns expressed above, I also believe that it would be unfair to base admission to university courses on gender. Universities should continue to select the best candidates for each course according to their qualifications. In this way, both men and women have the same opportunities, and applicants know that they will be successful if they work hard to achieve good grades at school. If a female student is the best candidate for a place on a course, it would be wrong to reject her in favour of a male student with lower grades or fewer qualifications.
In conclusion, the selection of university students should be based on merit, and it would be both impractical and unfair to change to a selection procedure based on gender.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the general view Original: It is believed that Suggested revision: Some people believe that Why it matters: This wording makes the source of the general claim more direct.
- 2. Use precise equality term Original: same Suggested revision: equal Why it matters: Equal is the more precise adjective for parity of opportunity.
- 3. Clarify admissions wording Original: the idea of accepting equal proportions of each gender Suggested revision: the idea of admitting equal numbers of students of each gender Why it matters: The revision identifies students as the people being admitted and matches the task's focus on numbers.
- 4. Make signposting concise Original: This essay will explain the reasons why Suggested revision: This essay explains why Why it matters: The shorter signpost conveys the same function without redundant wording.
- 5. Use concise academic noun Original: Student numbers on any course Suggested revision: Enrolment on any course Why it matters: Enrolment expresses the number of students on a course more concisely.
- 6. Tighten the noun phrase Original: applications that the institution receives Suggested revision: applications received by the institution Why it matters: The reduced passive keeps the meaning while making the phrase more compact.
- 7. Use precise admissions verb Original: fill courses with equal numbers of males and females Suggested revision: enrol equal numbers of male and female students Why it matters: Enrol precisely describes admitting students to courses and avoids using males and females as nouns.
- 8. Describe applicant preference Original: more popular with one gender than the other Suggested revision: attract more applicants from one gender than the other Why it matters: This revision states the observable admissions pattern more precisely.
- 9. Use formal allocation phrase Original: needed to go to males Suggested revision: had to be allocated to male students Why it matters: Allocated to is more precise and formal for distributing university places.
- 10. Tighten the transition Original: Apart from the practical concerns expressed above Suggested revision: Beyond these practical concerns Why it matters: This concise transition clearly links the fairness argument to the preceding practical argument.
- 11. Use concise admissions phrase Original: base admission to university courses on gender Suggested revision: base university admissions on gender Why it matters: The plural noun admissions conveys the selection process more naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- It is believed that Some people believe that
- same equal
- the idea of accepting equal proportions of each gender the idea of admitting equal numbers of students of each gender
- This essay will explain the reasons why This essay explains why
- Student numbers on any course Enrolment on any course
- applications that the institution receives applications received by the institution
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response is highly focused, with a clear position, well-developed arguments, and examples that directly support the rejection of fixed gender quotas. Its main limitation is that the practical case relies heavily on one subject example, leaving little exploration of how the policy might operate across different disciplines. A brief qualification or second contrasting example would make the reasoning even more comprehensive.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question directly, maintains a clear disagreement, and develops two highly relevant reasons with effective support.
Add a brief qualification or contrasting subject example to make the case against fixed quotas still more comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, two well-focused body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion, with cohesive devices used naturally.
Preserve this controlled progression while making paragraph openings slightly less formulaic where possible.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and consistently appropriate for discussing admissions, gender proportions, practicality, and merit.
Reduce minor repetition of equal numbers, proportions, and gender by using occasional precise reformulations without sacrificing clarity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with virtually no grammatical disruption.
Maintain the same level of control while continuing to vary the structure of conditional and concessive sentences.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.