It is difficult for people in the cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and solutions?
Sample Response
In recent years, maintaining physical fitness and overall well-being has become one of the top priorities for people. One of the most effective methodsmethod is exercising, yet many city dwellers find it challenging to exercise frequently. This essay will analyze some of the reasons as well as propose some feasible solutions to this problemconcern.
On the one hand, a lack of physical exercise is caused by several factors. First, many city residents devotea large proportion of the city population devote all their time to working and such a commitment reduces the amount of spare time and energy for exercising. In addition, the preference for a sedentary lifestyle among many young people nowadaysthe sedentary lifestyle that many young people nowadays prefer is another contributor to this issue. Since most teenagers and young adults are used to spending most of their time sitting in front of the TV screens or surfing social networking sites, physical activitiesphysically exhausting activities seem unnecessary and unappealing.
On the other hand, there are numerous measures that the government could takedo to improve the situation. To begin with, a new law that shortens the average number of working hoursthe average working hours should be introduced. If workers are allowed to leave work early, they will be able to spend time pursuing healthy activities and habits. Secondly, more financial resources should be allocated to educating city residents, especially the younger generationthe young generations, about the paramount importance of physical exercise. An online awarenesspropagation campaign about the potential health risks of sedentary behaviors on popular websites such as Facebook and Twitter, for example, will serve as a warning tofor people who do not exercise enough and in turnturns, encourage a healthier lifestyle.
To sum up, citizens of many big cities, although fully aware of the vital role of physical exercise, still face considerable difficulty in making exercise a habitconfront many difficulties in making it a habit, and two main solutions including reducing working hours and raising people’s awareness can help tackle this problem.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is well organized and addresses both causes and solutions with clear explanation and relevant examples. Its main weakness is a small but noticeable group of grammatical and collocational slips, such as inaccurate noun forms and awkward word combinations, which slightly reduce precision. Prioritize a final language edit to correct agreement and word-form errors and replace unnatural phrases with standard academic collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses both causes and solutions, developing each main idea with relevant explanation and examples.
Strengthen the answer further by acknowledging practical limits to the proposed working-hours law and explaining how it could be implemented.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced in focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly through the argument.
Replace the contrast-oriented body transitions with labels that more precisely signal the shift from causes to solutions.
Lexical Resource
A wide and generally precise vocabulary supports fluent discussion, with only occasional awkward collocations and word-form choices.
Revise phrases such as government measures and public-awareness campaigns into their most natural academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used with strong control, although a few agreement and word-form errors remain.
Proofread plural nouns, verb agreement, and fixed adverbial forms to remove the remaining localized inaccuracies.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is difficult for people in the cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and solutions?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.