Many cities replace parks and farmlands with houses. Is it a positive and negative development?
Sample Response
RecentPast years have witnessed a great transformation in urban land use, withland use where parks and farmlands are generally replaced by houses. From my perspective, the disadvantages of this change outweigh its advantages.
It is cleardoubtless that the general public and local authoritiesadministration can benefit a lot from the construction of an increasing number of housingaccommodations. In many cities, economic reform has resulted in a significant and steady growth in the urban population, which gives rise to a disproportion between the existing housing resources and the massive demands of citizens and migrants. In this way, the large-scale construction of housingvast construction of houses makes it possible for the public to obtain a hometo own a place to settle in and improve their living conditions to somean extent. Meanwhile, the authorities collect revenue and taxesgain revenues and taxes in the course of housing construction, which can be used to fund other infrastructure improvements in the city.
Nonetheless, the removal of farmlands and parks will cause irreparable damage to the city. For one thing, once the area of farmlandthe farming area has been reduced, there maywould be difficulties in meeting local residents’ demands for fresh agricultural products. As a result, they have to sourceseek food from elsewhere, which proves to be far more costly and time-consuming, and the food transported over long distancesfood transported from a long distance is not as fresh as that grown on nearby farms. Consequently, the public is expected to suffer from higher living costsheavier burdens of living than before. On the other hand, city parks play a vital role in providing recreational opportunitiesfulfilling recreational functions and protecting cities from environmental problems. City dwellers enjoy the tranquillity of a park as an escape from the hustle and bustle, a place to release their pressure, and a place to develop active lifestyles that help them avoid or lessen physical and mental health problems. Some wild animals and plants are left in their natural habitats to coexist with human beings and preserve biodiversity.biodiversity.. By contrastOn the contrary, a world of housing blocks is full of noise, pollution, and environmental disruption, which is definitely unable to present to people the beauty of nature.
In conclusion, the loss of farmlands and parks takes a toll on the wellbeing of city dwellers, so the housing problems should not be resolved at the cost of parks and farmlands.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear comparative position and develops both the housing benefits and the environmental and social costs with substantial, relevant explanation. Its main weakness is occasional overstatement and imprecise phrasing, alongside a few awkward links within the long disadvantages paragraph. The highest-priority improvement is to sharpen causal claims and collocations while dividing dense supporting material into a slightly more balanced progression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed through a clear position and well-developed consideration of housing benefits, farmland loss, and reduced park space.
Refine a few broad causal claims, particularly about food costs and environmental damage, so the argument remains consistently measured and convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, contrasting body sections, and conclusion, with generally effective cohesive control.
Divide the dense disadvantages discussion more evenly and replace the inaccurate final contrast marker with a link that expresses consequence or comparison.
Lexical Resource
A wide and flexible vocabulary conveys detailed arguments effectively, though several collocations are slightly unnatural or overstated.
Improve precision in phrases such as housing supply, rising demand, cost-of-living pressures, and relieve stress to make the language more idiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used with strong control, while minor agreement, tense, punctuation, and reference errors remain.
Proofread long sentences for consistent conditionals, unambiguous pronouns, and punctuation accuracy, including the duplicated full stop.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many cities replace parks and farmlands with houses. Is it a positive and negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.