Some say that music plays an important role in society whilst others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The role of music in society is a topic that elicits contrasting opinions. Some argue that music plays a significant roleholds a significant position, serving various purposes beyond mere entertainment, while others perceive it solely as a form of amusement. This essay will explore both perspectives and explain why music's role in society cannot be reduced to a mere form of entertainment.
On the one handOn one hand, supporters of this viewdetractors may argue that music primarily serves as a form of entertainment. They argue that its primary function is to provide enjoyment and serve as a means of relaxation or escape from daily routines, whileroutines while its broader societal impact is limited. From this perspective, music is seen as a commodity that caters to individual preferences and tastes, meaning that it is mainly consumed for personal pleasure rather than for its societal impact or cultural significance. Critics contend that the emphasis on the recreationalrecreation aspect of music has overshadowed itsthe artistic and cultural value, compromising its authenticity and significance.
Nevertheless, I believe that music plays a multifaceted role in society, most notably in terms of social progressadvancements and cultural significance. Regarding the former, music has the potential to inspire and educate, conveyinginstilling profound messages and promoting social change. Throughout history, songs have acted as catalysts for social movements, thereby advocating for social justice and equality. In additionSecondly, music is deeply intertwined with the cultural fabric of societies around the world, reflecting their traditions, beliefs, and values. Traditional music genres and songs are passed down through generations, thus acting as a link to the past and providing insights into the social, religious, and historical contexts of a community.
In conclusion, although some may place a significant emphasis on the recreational role of music, I believe that its contribution to societywhat it can contribute to society is not confined to mere entertainment. While it brings joy and amusement, its influence extends beyond personal enjoyment, inspiring positive changes and shaping cultural identities.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay addresses both perspectives directly, maintains a clear opinion, and develops the societal role of music through relevant social and cultural examples. Its main limitation is that the entertainment view is less concretely supported and occasionally drifts into criticizing that view; adding a specific example and sharpening a few awkward lexical choices would make the discussion more evenly developed and precise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly addressed and the opinion is clear and well supported, although the entertainment perspective receives slightly less concrete development.
Add one specific example illustrating music's recreational function to make the treatment of both views equally substantial.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is logically sequenced, well paragraphed, and smoothly connected with clear internal progression.
Refine the transition within the entertainment paragraph so its final sentence does not blur the boundary between the two perspectives.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of precise topic vocabulary is used fluently, with only occasional slightly unnatural choices.
Replace minor awkward phrases such as recreation aspect with the most idiomatic academic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad variety of complex structures is handled with strong control, and errors are rare and minor.
Polish the few remaining article and punctuation details to make already accurate complex sentences fully controlled.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some say that music plays an important role in society whilst others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.