In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they like. To what extent should children have to follow rules?
Sample Response
Freedom plays a pivotal role in everybody’s life. We can see in today’s modernmodernized era that nobody likes to be restricted, whether it is a child or an adult. Some people think that there should behave some strict rules of behavior for children, but I disagree with this statement. Although it is true thatWherever it is a reality that sometimes more restrictions can cause more frustration in children, which leads to other mental health problemsmany other mental problems as well. Morever they can be, behave like a stubborn. Sometimes they feelfeel themselves under pressure, which can be the main reason for their poor performance in what they doin their field. In some cases children may insist on doing these things from where we?ll try to keep them away.
On the other hand,In other words _ we have to look for other aspects as well, like if we usually ignore our children’s bad habits, then they may not become responsible adultsthey can't be good human beings in their future life. Moreover,Moreover _ if we never pay attention todraw attention upon the children’s main activities then they might end up in bad companya bad company. They can learn the value of respectknow regarding the value of respect for their elders. They can learnknow the importance of relationships. They can learn about their cultural valuesknow regarding their cultural values as well.
In a nutshell, I would like to say that children should be taughtteach the value of their customs, rituals and respect towards their elders for their future life, but most additional restrictionsmost of the additional restriction should be avoidedshould be being avoided. It would be better to make them good human beings in their future.
This is a good, well-written essay. Some sentences are too short and could be combined together to create a more complex structure. There is also some repetition of words, which should be avoided. Overall, nicely done.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response presents a clear, balanced position and organises relevant reasons around the effects of excessive and insufficient control. Its main limitation is that ideas are asserted rather than fully explained, while frequent awkward grammar and collocation choices reduce precision; prioritise developing each reason with a specific consequence or example and revising sentence structures for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear qualified position addresses the question with relevant reasons, but support is limited and the final evaluative paragraph is irrelevant to the task.
Develop each main reason with a concrete example and explain how it supports the proposed degree of control.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a recognisable progression, although mechanical linking, repetitive short statements, and unclear references weaken cohesion.
Group related points into fully developed paragraphs and use precise referencing instead of repetitive linking phrases.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss rules and their consequences, but spelling and frequent collocation errors reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as references to knowing regarding values with accurate, natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in verb forms, articles, agreement, and sentence construction sometimes make clauses difficult to follow.
Prioritise accurate verb patterns and sentence boundaries, then proofread each complex sentence for a complete, clear structure.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they like. To what extent should children have to follow rules?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.