The amount of time spent on sports and exercise should be increased in school in order to tackle the problem of overweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with this problem? What other solutions can you suggest?
Sample Response
Addressing childhood obesityAddressing the issue of overweight children, some propose increasing the time allocated to sports and exercise in schools as a solution. However, this essay argues that while physical activity is essential, solely increasing the time devoted to sportsolely increasing sports time in schools might not be the most effective strategy. Instead, a multifaceted approach involving nutritional education and parental involvement offers more effectiveviable solutions.
Merely increasing sports and exercise time in schools might not sufficiently address the complex issue of childhood obesity. Children spend a limited amount of time at schoolspend a limited time in school so relying solely on this periodand solely relying on this period for physical activity may not offset the effects of sedentary lifestylescounterbalance sedentary lifestyles outside of school hours. Additionally, focusing solely on increased sports time may overlook the crucial role of diet and eatingnutritional habits in combating obesity.
One alternative solution involves integrating comprehensive nutritional education into the school curriculum. Educating children about healthy eating habits, balanced diets, and the importance of nutritional choices can help children develop lifelong healthy habitscan instil lifelong healthy practices. For instance, introducing practical nutrition classes or workshops can empower children to make informed dietary decisions, thereby complementing physical activity as part of a holistic approach to healthcomplementing physical activity for a holistic approach to health.
Another solution revolves around fostering parental involvement and awareness. Parents play a pivotal role in shaping children's lifestyles, including diet and physical activity. Schools can organize workshops or information sessions targeting parents, educating them on creating a supportiveconducive home environment that promotes healthy eating and active lifestyles.
In conclusion, while increasing sports time in schools is beneficial, it alone cannot effectively address childhood obesity. A comprehensive strategy that includes nutritional education within schools and encourages parental involvement holds more promise. By combining physical activity with nutritional education and parental engagement, a holistic approach can significantly mitigate the challenge of childhood obesity.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its direct, consistently maintained position, supported by two relevant alternatives and clear explanations of why school exercise alone is insufficient. Its main limitation is that the support remains somewhat general and repeats the same holistic-health framing rather than examining practical limitations or outcomes in depth. Prioritise one more specific, developed example showing how a proposed measure would reduce obesity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully answers both questions with a clear position and two relevant, logically developed alternatives.
Develop one proposal with a more concrete example or causal detail to make the support more incisive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly without becoming intrusive.
Reduce repetition of the contrast between exercise alone and a holistic approach by varying how later points are linked.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and appropriately formal, with effective phrases such as “counterbalance sedentary lifestyles” and “conducive home environment.”
Vary repeated terms such as “solely,” “nutritional education,” and “holistic approach” to sharpen lexical flexibility.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence structures is used accurately, with only minor awkwardness that does not impede communication.
Refine occasional constructions such as “educating them on creating” so complex phrasing remains fully natural.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
The amount of time spent on sports and exercise should be increased in school in order to tackle the problem of overweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with this problem? What other solutions can you suggest?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.