Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should
Sample Response
Every four years, the whole world stops to watch international sporting events such as the Olympics and the Football World Cup atin which athletes giveshow their best performance to make their countries proudmake their country proud of them. These sporting occasions have proved helpfulhave proved to be helpful in easing international tensions in difficult times when powerful leaders were trying to control the world's economy and other governments were fighting over land. The Olympic Games are among the best examplesThe Olympic Games are one of the best examples which prove how sporting events can bring nations together, at least temporarily. From ancient History, when Greeks and Romans would interrupt battles to participate in the games, to the more recent international disputes, when athletes from Palestine and Israel would forget their differences, compete pacifically and even embrace each other after an event. Moreover, these popular events have called the world's attention to the terrible consequences of warwars; thus some leaders have tried to reachaccept agreements to end their dispute and live peacefully. Again, whenAgain when Pakistan and India play cricket against each other, it temporarily helpsit, at least, temporarily helps the citizenscitizen of both countries forget about the conflict between the two countriesthe war among these two countries. When Pakistani famous cricketers do stage programs with Indian popular crickets, then only friendship and peace can be felt, not the war and political conflicts. Similarly, international sporting events bringshow benefits in some developing countries that experiencecountries which live in ongoing civil conflicta daily internal civil war. For example, Brazil has a high rate of unemployment, lack of education, hunger, crime, poverty and corruption which lead to immense embarrassmentwhich leads to an immense embarrassment of being Brazilian and low self-esteema low self-esteem. However, when the Football World Cup starts, the Brazilian squad, which is considered the best team in the world, creates a strong sense of prideprovokes an amazing feeling of pride in their country. Most people seem to forget all their problems and even criminal activity decreasesthe criminal activity decreases. They paint roads with the national colours, wearuse wear the Brazilian team shirt and buy national flags. Moreover, the competition brings families and neighbours together and even rival gangs watch the games and celebrate peacefully. In conclusion, popular sporting events play an important role in decreasing international tensions and liberating patriotic feelings as historyHistory has shown.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response strongly engages with both parts of the claim and supports its agreement through a wide range of international and domestic examples. Its main limitation is uneven control of organization and expression, especially the absence of paragraph breaks and several awkward or inaccurate phrases; the priority is to group the two main strands into distinct paragraphs and revise collocations and sentence boundaries.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained, and both international tension and patriotic feeling are addressed with relevant examples.
Explain the causal link in each example more critically instead of relying on broad claims about peace or social change.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a discernible sequence, but presenting the entire essay as one paragraph weakens its organization and readability.
Separate the introduction, international examples, domestic patriotism example, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of topic vocabulary, although several inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Revise expressions such as agreement-related phrases and references to players so that each collocation is natural and exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted successfully overall, but fragments and recurring agreement or form errors remain noticeable.
Check sentence completeness and singular-plural agreement, especially in the longer example sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should
Your response
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