Do you think that technological advancement has brought more harm than good? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
Sample Response
Nowadays, the advancement of technology is considered to affect people’s daily liveslife in many waysby many factors. I believe the existence of technological advances causescause both advantages and disadvantages.
Technological advancementThe technological advancement can make people to depend on it. It helps people workhelps people in working or communicateor to communicate with others. For example, people will certainly bring their mobile phones whereverwhenever they go to call and text or work with others. By bringing their gadgetsgadget or other electronic devices, people do not need to stay at their work place with their partner to work instead they can work using their electronic devices. Electronic devices help people do their jobshelp people with their job more easily and conveniently.
On the other hand, it may bring harm to people if they use electronic devices too often and really depend on themreally depends on it. Firstly, many children spendspends most of their time using a mobile phoneon using a mobile phone to play video games which damages their eyesightwhich spoil their eyes, as a resultin result, many of them use spectacles at a young age. Secondly, people who become dependent on electronic devicesget used with electronic devices will be lazy and constantly making use of their phone forin every purpose. For instance, they would prefer to use their electronic devices to communicate rather than meet face-to-face. Electronic devices could make bad habits in peoplea bad habit for people if they misuse it.
In conclusion, despite the development of technology provides us convenience in working, it causes more harm than the benefit. People will end up becoming lazyend up in getting lazy and spoil their eyes at a young age because they engage with electronic devicesdue to engage electronic devices in their daily life inevitably.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response has a clear basic structure and gives relevant examples of convenience and harm, with the conclusion eventually stating that harm outweighs benefit. However, the position is less clear in the introduction, ideas remain rather general, and frequent grammar and collocation errors weaken precision. Prioritise establishing the comparative opinion from the outset and developing each reason through a clearer cause-and-effect explanation in more accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question with relevant advantages and harms, but its comparative position emerges late and the supporting ideas are only moderately developed.
State clearly in the introduction why the harms outweigh the benefits, then extend each reason with a specific causal explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure provides broadly clear progression, although links are sometimes mechanical and ideas within sentences are repetitive or loosely connected.
Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example directly to the paragraph's main claim without repeating references to electronic devices.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to discuss the topic, but recurring inaccurate collocations and word choices such as descriptions of dependence and eye damage limit precision.
Build control of natural technology-related collocations and check that each verb and preposition fits its intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex forms is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb patterns, and clause construction reduce accuracy.
Prioritise accurate subject-verb agreement and verb patterns before combining ideas into longer complex sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you think that technological advancement has brought more harm than good? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.