Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Experts throughout both the developing and developed world have debated whether the advent of sophisticated modern technology such as mobile phones, laptops and iPadsiPad hashave helped to improveenhance and improve people’s social lives or whether the opposite has become the case.
Personally, I strongly advocate the former view. This essay will discuss both sides using examples from the UK government and Oxford University to demonstrate points and supportprove arguments.
On the one hand, there isOn the one hand there is ample, powerful, almost daily evidence that such technology can be detrimental especially to the younger generation who are more easily affected by itsit’s addictive nature , potentially resulting inand which can result in people feeling more isolated from societyfrom the society.
The central reason behind this is twofold, firstly, the invention of online social media sites and apps, such as Twitter and Facebook have reduced crucial face-to-face interactions dramatically. Through the use ofThrough use of these appealing and attractive platformsmediums, people feel in touch and connected, yet lackconnected yet lack key social skills and the ability to communicate.
Secondly, dependence on such devices can develop very easilydependence on such devices is built up frighteningly easily which may have a damaging effect on mental health and encourage a sedentary lifestyle. For example, recent scientific research by the UK government demonstrated that 90% of people in their 30s spend over 20 hours per week on Messenger and similar applications to chat with their friends instead of meeting up and spending quality time together or doing sport. As a result, it is conclusively clear that these technologicaltechnology advancements have reduceddecreased and diminished our real life interactions.
On the other hand, although there are significant downsides to technological developments, their many advantagesits’ multifold advantages cannot be denied. This is largely because the popularity of technology such as cellphones allows people to connect freely and easily with no geographical barriers.
People are able to share any type of news, information, photos and opinions with their loved ones whenever and wherever they want, thereby maintaining a sense of closenesswant therefore keeping a feeling of proximity and closeness. For example, an extensive study by Oxford University illustrated that people who work or study abroadwork, or study abroad and use applications like FaceTimeFacetime and WhatsApp to chat with their families, are less likely to experience loneliness and feel out of the loop than those who do not.
Consistent with this line of thinking is that businessmen are also undoubtedly able to benefit from these advances by holding virtual real -time meetings using Skype which may increase the chance of closing business deals without the need to fly.
From the arguments and examples given I firmly believe that overall communication and mans’ sociability has been advanced enormously due to huge the huge technological progress of the past twenty years and despite some potentially serious health implications which governments should not fail to address, it is predicted that its popularity will continue to flourish in the future.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear position and develops both the disadvantages and social benefits of technology with relevant explanations and examples. Its main limitation is recurring imprecision in grammar and word choice, including agreement, possessives, and strained collocations, despite an otherwise broad range. The highest-priority improvement is to edit for natural phrasing and accurate sentence structure while making supporting claims more measured and credible.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question, maintains a clear position, and develops both perspectives with relevant support.
Use more measured, credible examples and connect each one more explicitly to the central judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused paragraphs, with effective signposting and referencing across the response.
Consolidate closely related points and reduce formulaic transitions so the argument flows more naturally.
Lexical Resource
A wide vocabulary supports precise discussion, although several awkward collocations and inaccurate word forms reduce naturalness.
Prioritise idiomatic combinations such as technological advances and real-life interaction, and check possessive forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures successfully, but recurring agreement, article, punctuation, and possessive errors remain noticeable.
Proofread each complex sentence for subject-verb agreement, clause boundaries, articles, and apostrophe accuracy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.