Some people think traditional games are better than modern games in helping children develop their abilities. To what extent do you agree?
Sample Response
Some people hold the belief that conventional games are more beneficial than modern gamesovershadow modern games in terms of how beneficial they are to children’s development. This essay strongly agrees with this statement as will be discussed belowas now will be discussed.
Granted, some people might be in favor of modern video games because of their positive effectsimpacts on children’s cognitive abilitiesability. Simulation games, for example, offer children the opportunity to freely design their own virtual worldsworld, which fosters their creativity. There are also strategy gamesother strategic games that require students to think quickly so as to compete against opponents or overcome challenges, thereby enabling the growth of problem solving skills. However, these benefits often come at a steep cost. The immersive and addictive nature of modern games frequently leads to excessive screen time, fostering sedentary lifestyles and health issues such as obesity and poor posture. Moreover, prolonged exposure to screens has been linked to mental fatigue, reduced attention spans, and even social isolation, highlighting the significant drawbacks of relying on modern games for development.
With conventional games, meanwhile, children can experience more well-rounded developmenta more well-rounded development. In terms of physical well-being, many traditional games, such as hide-and-seek or tag, involve outdoor activity, improving physical fitnessoutdoor physical activity, promoting physical fitness and coordination. Games like these also encourage teamwork, communication, and leadership skills, as children interact with their peers in a dynamic and collaborative environment. As far as cognitive abilities are concerned, mentally stimulating traditional games, such as chess, puzzles, and building blocks, enhance concentration, logical thinking, and creativity in a more tactile and engaging way. Unlike modern games, these activities rarely lead to over-reliance or addiction, offering a healthier and more sustainable means of developmentgrowth.
In conclusion, while modern games have their merits in stimulating specific cognitive abilities, their addictive nature and associated drawbacks often negate these benefits. Traditional games, on the other hand, provide a well-rounded developmental experience, nurturing physical health, social interaction, and creativity.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a clear position and develops a persuasive comparison through relevant examples of cognitive, physical, and social development. Its progression is controlled and its language is varied and precise, although a few claims about the harms of modern games are broad and some expressions sound slightly formulaic. The main refinement is to qualify those claims and make the comparison even more directly evidence-based.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and both the concession and the case for traditional games are fully developed with relevant support.
Qualify broad claims about addiction and health effects so the comparison remains precise and convincingly supported.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a focused concession, a developed main argument, and a conclusion that accurately reflects the discussion.
Make the transition from the drawbacks of modern games to the comparative advantages of traditional games slightly more direct.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, with only occasional formulaic or slightly awkward choices.
Replace stock phrasing such as the introductory announcement with a more natural and direct thesis statement.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used flexibly and accurately, and the few minor lapses do not impede communication.
Refine occasional awkward constructions and check compound modifiers such as problem-solving for consistently polished control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think traditional games are better than modern games in helping children develop their abilities. To what extent do you agree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.