Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is a fact that with advanced technologytechnologies, we cancould easily access and exchange information about an individual or an organisation onthrough the internet. Although some people think that it is beneficial, others believe that it poses a greater threatbrings more threat to every individual's safety. The following essay will discuss it in detaildetails. It is true that we are living in a high technology era, in whichwhere as information about persons, companies, states and even countries isare stored online. With this technology, people could easily obtain and swap information with others. Certain people believeFor certain people, they believe this advanced technology is beneficial tofor them, as it has helped them completeassisted them in accomplishing their projects. For example, when a secret agent needs to investigate a murder case, he might need some personal information about the victim's relatives and friends. And with online technology, he could easily get all the required information, which will help him in solving the case. Despite all the benefits, uncontrolled access and exchange of information have some negative effects on our lives. It is reported that it has been frequently used by certain people for criminal activities. One of the common examples is about credit card database. Many credit card PINspins are stolen and used inappropriately. SometimesAnd then, sometimes an individual'sindividual database is also hacked, and the individual's personal data are used for illegal actsas his personal database is used for any illegal acts by the hacker himself. In conclusion, to some extentto a certain point, I would agree that easy access to and exchange of informationaccess and exchange to information have some advantages for our lives, but we should never forget that it has many disadvantages as well. I personally believe that there should be clear regulationssome clear regulation about it and the government should monitor it strictly.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a relevant qualified position and supports both the benefits and dangers of information access with understandable examples. Its main limitation is that the ideas remain somewhat general and are expressed through repetitive, sometimes inaccurate language, while the lack of paragraph breaks obscures the intended structure. The highest-priority improvement is to develop a clearer degree of agreement and organise the supporting reasons into distinct paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the issue and reaches a qualified conclusion, but its degree of agreement and supporting analysis are only moderately developed.
State the extent of agreement in the introduction and explain more precisely why the dangers outweigh, or do not outweigh, the benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a broadly logical movement from benefits to risks and a conclusion, but mechanical linking and absent paragraph breaks weaken cohesion.
Create separate paragraphs for the benefit, the danger, and the conclusion, using references that clearly connect each example to the central argument.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic, but repetition and inaccurate collocations such as brings more threat and exchange to information limit precision.
Replace repeated uses of information and database with precise terms such as personal data, records, data breaches, and unauthorised access.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response combines simple and complex sentences, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, prepositions, and clause construction reduce control.
Edit each complex sentence for a clear subject-verb relationship and correct forms such as information is stored and access to information.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.