Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In today’s society, where the education can improve career prospectsacquisition of knowledge is the key to better career prospects, having access to tertiary education is a transformative opportunitylife-changing opportunity for many students. However, some claim universities should only accept young students with the highest grades, while others believe every student, regardless of age and academic ability, should be given equal educational opportunities. I will discuss both views and state my opinion in the following essay.
Firstly, high school students with higher grades are more deservingdeserved to attend university as their grades may indicatetheir grades somewhat imply that they have superior academic skills to those of their peerssuperior academic skills compared to their peers, whether through better memory, logical thinking or time-management skillsbe it a better memory, logical thinking or time management skills. Therefore, such students are more likely to handle a heavy workload and considerable pressurethe immense workload and pressure at university. Moreover, offering university places to a limited numberoffering university places to only a limited number of students would result in a highly capable student bodyhigh-quality undergraduates. For example, the most prestigious collegesmost prestigious colleges in Vietnam, whose acceptance rates are low, only recruit the highest scorers in the national university entrance exam to make sure that all of the universities' resourcesuniversities resources are directed towards students who are more likely to succeedavailable for students who have a higher chance of success.
As sensible and beneficial as it is, many people oppose the restrictive admissions policyaforementioned idea since they believe that only accepting young academically giftedacademically-gifted individuals is unfair to older students or those who do not do well at school. Firstly, a student’s agea student’s s age or performance at school does not always reflect their potential to succeed at university. Thus, it is unethical to deny access to tertiary education to some students, especially in a world where formal qualifications are of great importance in gaining employment. Also, there is more to college admissions than just academic performance. In fact, many well-known American universitieswell-known universities in America, such as Harvard and Yalelike Harvard or Yale, not only accept academically gifted students but also those who are particularly gifted atin sport or art. This helps to maintain a diverse community, where each student is valued and rewarded for what they are good at instead of just academic excellence.
In conclusion, although only accepting students with high marks is advantageous in some ways, I believe providing university places for all students is fairermore just and beneficial in the long run.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear opinion, develops both perspectives with relevant reasoning, and maintains a logical argument throughout. Its main limitation is a small number of imprecise claims and awkward language choices, alongside occasional grammatical slips. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify broad assertions more carefully and refine collocations and possessive forms so the otherwise strong discussion reads with greater precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly addressed, the writer's position is clear, and the main ideas receive relevant explanation and examples.
Develop the claim that open admission benefits everyone more precisely by acknowledging practical limits or explaining how equal opportunity could operate.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion.
Strengthen the connection between fairness, employability, and diverse admissions so the second body paragraph forms an even tighter argument.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective topic language such as tertiary education, academic ability, and formal qualifications.
Replace awkward collocations such as more deserved with natural forms such as more deserving or better qualified.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with good control, and the few errors do not impede communication.
Proofread possessives and accidental repetitions, especially student's s and universities resources, to improve accuracy.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.