Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Sample Response
It is a fact that everyone needs to have a stable career, which depends largely on the qualifications each person achieves. However, some people prefer working as soon as they finish studying at high school in order to gainenrich experience. This point has many arguments that merit consideration.
Apparently, we draw a wealth of valuableinvaluable experience from working. For example,For example: if we work as waiters, we can learn how to serve other people quickly and respond to their requests politely. It is also likely thatThe chances are that we will improve our counting skills considerably as accountants working for department stores. More importantly, learning workplaceworking skills helps us to prepare carefully for our careerscareer in the long run, because these skills are highly valued by employersall of them are in great demand from employers. In addition, lecturesLectures at university may become more practicalturn out to be realistic and liveliermore lively with our first hand experience. In particular, weyou will presumably not find it difficult to understand some technical terms or solve practical problems.
Apart from gaining experience, developing the ability to work efficiently is another significant benefit when we start working after school. That is, we will be trained to be more responsible for our tasks, such as going to work on time. Eventually, we will become more punctual and industrious. Some students often cannot get accustomed to work pressure and competition from colleaguesthe pressure of work as well as competitive colleagues at the beginning. Therefore, it is advisable for them to look for a chance to experience a working environmenta chance of experiencing working environment in advance.
Nevertheless, there are significantcomparative disadvantages for young workers. It is unlikely that they will work for big companies on account of their lack of university degrees. Some people may be inadequately prepared to study at universitybe inadequate to study at some universities because they have forgotten some basic knowledgebecause they forget some basic knowledge at high school. These difficulties are avoidable, provided that we put practical experience above salary.
In conclusion, advantages appear to outweigh disadvantages if we choose to work after graduating from high school. Having first hand experience is highly recommended to improve our prospects of successpave the way for our success in the future.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear preference for gaining work experience and supports it with several practical examples, giving the argument a generally coherent direction. Its main limitation is uneven task coverage: the case for university education is only briefly acknowledged, and some later claims are unclear or weakly connected. The priority is to compare both routes more directly and develop each supporting point with precise, relevant explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear preference for working after school is presented and supported, but the competing university route receives limited direct evaluation.
Compare the two routes explicitly and develop the disadvantages of early employment with clearer reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are arranged in a broadly logical sequence, although some references and links between claims are imprecise.
Use clearer topic sentences and ensure each supporting sentence directly advances its paragraph's central point.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably broad vocabulary, but awkward collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Replace expressions such as 'enrich experience' and 'learning working skills' with natural, context-appropriate collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly despite recurring article, preposition, and construction errors.
Improve control of articles and prepositional patterns, especially in phrases describing study and workplace experience.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.