Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Sample Response
At recent years, there is an ongoing debate whether by completing further study in university or by joining the workload directly will lead someone to be employed in a good job. I personally believe that continuing one's higher educationcontinuing higher study in a course at a university will increasealleviate the opportunity to get involved in the labour market.
The intense competitionlight competitiveness in the field of workin work field, in some ways, increases the need for qualified workers. In response to this pressureMoved by this trigger, universities improve students' qualificationsdevelop the quality of the students by developing specialist programmesimproving the specialisations and by expandingextending the variety of courses. Taken as an example, business courses have been expanding the field of study in a wide range of majors such as public health business which provides the participants to focus on hospital management, pharmacy business, etc. or social based entrepreneur which develops the candidates to build their social-based businesses by a small amount of money.
On the other hand, undeniably, university studentsstudents in university seem to lackseem to be the lack of practical experienceexperiences in the workplacein working environment. Being an employee means more responsibilitiesmore of responsibilities, job deadlines, etc. and there are several consequences if they show poor performancebad performances. To address this problemsolve this case, internship programmes and core soft skill training can be effective solutionsways out. University faces challenges to keep improving the curricula in order to prepare the students with work experiences by entering the utmost graduate students with 3 months working programmes in thrived companies as well as with several working skills training such as leadership training.
To sum up, in spite of the growing demandthe growth of demand for university graduatesuniversities' graduates in good job opportunitiesgood offer jobs, it is inevitable that they have more positive sides to fit them in such enormous opportunities.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure and attempts to support university education through course development, internships, and skills training. However, its position is imprecisely expressed, the alternative of entering work after school is not directly evaluated, and frequent unnatural word choices obscure several ideas. Clarify the exact stance first, then compare the two routes directly using accurately expressed reasons and examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response favours university education and offers some supporting ideas, but the stance is unclear in places and the work-first alternative receives little direct evaluation.
State an unambiguous degree of agreement and compare university study with immediate employment through fully developed reasons and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a recognisable introduction-body-conclusion structure, although progression within the body is sometimes weakened by unclear links between ideas.
Give each body paragraph one explicit comparative purpose and connect every supporting detail clearly to that purpose.
Lexical Resource
Relevant educational and employment vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision and sometimes obscure meaning.
Use simpler, established combinations for employment, opportunity, experience, and university programmes, checking each phrase for natural usage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in clause structure, agreement, articles, and plurals reduce clarity.
Build shorter complete sentences first, then combine them only when the grammatical relationship between clauses is secure.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.