We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is irrefutable that animals are the most prominent part of the ecosystem and also play a crucial role in managingplay a crucial role to manage the whole world in a better way. There is no justification for keeping these wild creaturesno discrimination against animals to keep these wild creatures behind bars even though they have equal rights comparable to those of humansrights as a human. However, I agree with the statement to a large extent. I have some solid groundsground to defend my opinion, which I would like to explicate at length in the paragraphs to come.
To begin with, humans do notthe human does not have the authority to keep the creatures in zooscreatures inside the zoo for entertainment purposestheir entertainment purpose because they also have families to live with them without any interference from humansinterruption from human. Put in other words, animals lose their freedom when they are kept behind bars, also the exposure to an artificial way of living, and deprived numerous of assets of their natural habitat. This leads to the balance of the ecosystem would be disturbed, and as a result, the whole world suffers from treasury consequences that are unable to tackle easily. For instance, according to researchers, if humans keep the wild animals inside the zoo or behind bars, this disruptsthis leads to unbalancing the food chain in the forest because animals are dependent on each other for their survival. As a result, the majority of wildlife and creatures are close to extinctionnear to extinction soon. In additionTo add it, without animals, the green forest turns into a desert because these are the major ones that preserve the wildlife or environment in an appropriate mannerenvironment inappropriate manner.
Furthermore, at the same timeat a certain stage, humans have a responsibilityhuman has the responsibility to preserve these incredible creatures on a large scale. Because some species of animals are on the verge of extinction, these speciesthis beast can be saved from the threat of extinctioneffect of extermination. For example, in India, the population of white tigerstendency of white tiger drastically plummeted over the years, and the forest department took the initiative to save this creature from hunting and provide man-made forests which are similar to natural forests, including food and medicine to protect these tigers for the futurekeep their tiger for future. Moreover, in some forests, the food chain is disturbed, and animals are dying out from hunger, so individuals give a place for their better health and hygiene, which helps them live longerwhich leads them a long life.
To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that humans have no right to interfere in the wildlife of animals to use these creatures for their benefit. Therefore, the government needs to save the animals from diseases to increase their habitats.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response is strongest in stating a clear general opposition to keeping animals in zoos and organising the discussion into recognisable stages. Its main limitation is that several supporting claims are unclear, implausible, or insufficiently connected to zoo closure, while frequent language errors further blur the reasoning. The highest-priority improvement is to build two directly relevant arguments with logical explanations and express them in shorter, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A position is presented and relevant concerns are raised, but development is uneven and the conservation discussion partly weakens the argument.
Explain precisely how each example supports closing zoos and distinguish harmful captivity from legitimate conservation measures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall paragraph sequence is recognisable, but progression within and between ideas is often mechanical or unclear.
Give each body paragraph one clear controlling idea and connect every supporting sentence directly to it.
Lexical Resource
The writer attempts a broad vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Prioritise accurate common academic vocabulary and check phrases such as treasury consequences and tendency of white tiger.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted frequently, but persistent errors in articles, agreement, clause formation, and sentence structure cause difficulty.
Use shorter sentence patterns first, ensuring every clause has a clear subject and verb before adding subordinate ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.