People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are expertimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse.
Sample Response
Youth drug abuse is a serious problem in many cultures todaynowadays in many cultures. Not only is illegal drug use on the rise, but children as young as 10 years old are also experimentingchildren as young as 10 years old are experimenting with alcohol and tobacco. The reasons for this behaviour are unclear, but certain sociologists blame the examples set by their elders. Parents who drink and smoke to excess are, in effect, telling their children that it is acceptable to abuse their bodies with drugs. Consequently, children may have a similar attitudeview towards illegal drugs, even if their parents are against their use. In addition, depictions of drug use on television and in filmsdrug use shown on television and in films can confusecan only confuse children who are also taught at school that drug abuse is wrong. The pressure on young people to perform well at school in order to compete for jobs is a possible cause of the problem. Many young people believe theyMany believe they cannot live up to their parents' expectations, and feel a sense of hopelessness. Also, the widespread availability of drugs means that teenagers facemeans teenagers are faced with the temptation to experiment. Drugs are used as a means of expressing dissatisfaction with the pressures they face in society. The effects of drug abuse are well known. Many young people's talents are wasted, and addiction to hard drugs can cost users their livescost a user his or her life. Furthermore, those who drink and drive may be involved in fatal road accidents. The cost to society is substantialgreat, and enormous amounts of money are spent on prosecutingconvicting drug dealers and on education programmes. To conclude, I recommend that the only sensible way to solve this problem is to educate young people about the dangers of drug use, and to take steps to reduce the pressure of competition placed upon them.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its direct, well-supported coverage of multiple causes and effects, expressed with precise vocabulary and controlled sentence structures. The main limitation is presentation: the entire discussion appears as one continuous paragraph, while the recommendations receive less development than the analysis. The highest priority is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs and explain how each proposed measure would reduce abuse.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses causes, personal and social effects, and relevant recommendations with clear, well-developed supporting detail.
Extend the recommendations by briefly explaining how education and reduced competitive pressure would change young people’s behaviour.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from causes to effects and solutions with well-managed cohesive links, although the single-block presentation obscures the structure.
Separate the introduction, causes, effects, and recommendations into distinct paragraphs so the strong progression is immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and natural across the discussion, with effective control of topic-specific and less common expressions.
Refine the few slightly awkward combinations by choosing the most idiomatic prepositions and noun phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately, and nearly all sentences are clear and well controlled.
Polish minor punctuation and phrasing choices while preserving the effective variety of sentence forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are expertimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse.
Your response
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