The table below shows the numbers of same day and overnight stays in public and private hospitals in 5 Australian states for last year. The pie chart below shows percentages of same day and overnight stays in public and private hospitals in the same 5 Australian states.
Sample Response
The table and the pie chart both show last year's hospital activitylast years’ visits to hospitals in Australia. The table shows the number of same-day and overnight staysnumber of days that patients stayed at either public or private hospitals, while the pie chart shows the percentages of overnight and same-day staysthe percentage of patients that stayed overnight or left the same day. Both charts present information for the same Australian states: New South Walessame Australian states, New South Wales, Victoria, Queensland, Western Australia and South Australia.
The table shows the number of same-day and overnight staysnumber of days patients stayed at general and psychiatric hospitals in the public and private sectors. The public general hospitals had far more patient days than public psychiatric hospitals for every state, with New South Wales having the highest number of general hospital staysgeneral hospital patient stays at 5,816 days and South Australia having the fewest at 1,495 days. New South Wales also had the highest public psychiatric hospital patient stays at 281 days, although Victoria had the fewest at 59 days.
Stays in private general hospitalsPatient days at private general hospitals were highest in Victoria (2.047 million stays)(2,047 days) and lowest in South Australia (560,000 stays)(560 days). Stays in private psychiatric hospitalsPatient days at private psychiatric hospitals were highest in New South Wales and Queensland at 213,000 stays eachat 213 days each, and lowest in South Australia (57,000 stays)(57 days).
Total staysnumbers were highest for New South Wales (8.323 million stays)(8,323 days) and lowest for South Australia (2.209 million stays)(2,209 days)Delete, in line with their population sizes.
The pie chart divides the stays of the patients into overnight stays and same day stays for both private and public hospitals. From the chart it can be seen that the majority of the stays were in public hospitals both overnight and same day stays, both of these taking up 30% each of the hospital stays.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is well organised and uses fluent, accurate language to compare the major state-level patterns and hospital categories. Its main limitation is precision of task coverage: the table figures are presented as individual days rather than thousands of stays, the private pie-chart segments are not reported, and the population explanation is unsupported. Prioritise an explicit overall summary with correct units and complete coverage of the pie chart.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report selects many important comparisons accurately, but unit handling, incomplete pie-chart coverage, and an unsupported population claim weaken precision.
State that the table values are in thousands, report the 26% and 14% private segments, and avoid explanations not shown by the visuals.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from chart introductions to public, private, total, and pie-chart comparisons with clear paragraphing.
Make the overall pattern explicit near the start and integrate the one-sentence totals paragraph with a related comparison.
Lexical Resource
A flexible and generally precise range of vocabulary describes sectors, hospital types, proportions, and extremes effectively.
Refine recurring phrases such as 'patient days' and 'shows' while preserving the report's clear technical vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used with strong control, and the few grammatical or punctuation slips do not impede meaning.
Correct the possessive form in 'last year's' and streamline the final sentence to remove its awkward repeated structure.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the numbers of same day and overnight stays in public and private hospitals in 5 Australian states for last year. The pie chart below shows percentages of same day and overnight stays in public and private hospitals in the same 5 Australian states.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.