The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.
Sample Response
The diagram gives information about the manufacturing process of construction bricks. Overall, brick manufacturing requires a series of controlled stagessome controlled stages and complex equipment. To begin with, the clay is collected by a diggerdigger machine and then the clay is passed through a metal grid to break it into smaller piecesgrind them. The crushed clayThe smashed clays is fed through a rollerare transported to a roller and it is mixed with sand and watersand and water are mixed with this. The mixture later either moves through a brick cutter, which cuts it into brickswhich shape of bricks, or is placed in mouldsplaced into a mould to form bricksin which the shape of a brick is formed. Afterwards, these shaped bricksbrick-shaped parts are put into a drying oven and are driedstay there for 24 to 48 hours. Next, they are transferred to the first kiln for heating, at a moderate temperature of 200°C to 980°Cwhose temperature is moderate, 200 to 980 C. After this, they are heated in the second kiln at a high temperature of 870°C to 1,300°Cunder the high temperature from 870-1300C. Subsequently, in a cooling chamber, they are cooled for two to three days before they are packaged and delivereddelivered to the construction sites. To summarise, the whole process consists of generally seven steps during which the raw material is dried, heated, cooled and packaged.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear, nearly complete chronological account of the manufacturing process, accurately covering the alternative shaping methods, timed drying and cooling, two kiln temperatures, packaging, and delivery. Its main weakness is language control: repeated agreement, pronoun, countability, and clause-construction errors make several descriptions awkward. Prioritise accurate grammatical structures and more precise process vocabulary while retaining the strong sequence and coverage.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately covers virtually all stages, both shaping alternatives, the temperature ranges, and the processing times, although the opening overview is rather general.
Make the overview more informative by stating that this is a linear process from clay extraction to delivery with two alternative shaping methods.
Coherence and Cohesion
The stages progress logically and are easy to follow through appropriate sequencing expressions, despite being presented as one dense paragraph.
Separate the introduction and overview from the detailed stages and group the preparation and heating phases into clear paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of process vocabulary, but imprecise choices such as 'smashed clays' and awkward collocations reduce naturalness.
Use precise process terms and collocations such as 'crushed clay,' 'fed through rollers,' and 'heated at a temperature of.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the process clearly, but recurring agreement, pronoun, countability, and relative-clause errors weaken control.
Prioritise noun agreement and clause accuracy, especially forms such as 'clay is ground' and 'a wire cutter, which shapes the bricks.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.