The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors.

Sample Response

1

The pie chart illustrates the career choices of Brighton University’s 2019 graduates, giving the percentages who worked in the various sectorseach of various sectors after finishing university. Overwhelmingly, service industries and manufacturingindustry and government were the most popular choices.

2

Together, just under half of the graduates entered service industries or manufacturingJust under half the students went into industry, with service industries attracting more Brighton graduates than any other sector by far — almost a third (33.0%). About half the service-industry figureAbout half that number (16.3%) took jobs in manufacturing.

3

Politics and public service were the next most popular choiceschoice, accounting for nearly a fifth of graduates. Just over 12% entered politics and governmentwent into politics and a further 5.6% chose the civil service. The other significant career choices were education (about 15%) and two others: transportation and warehousing, with 7.8%; and science and technology with 7.3%.

4

The least popular choices included work in the charitycharitable sector and careers in sport, both of which were chosen by well under 1% of graduates. Finally, 2.8% entered work in other, unspecified, sectors.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 8.0

The response provides a highly accurate and well-organised account, with a clear overview and precise coverage of virtually every sector. Its main limitation is that the overview groups service industries and manufacturing under ‘industry’ and combines politics with public service, slightly obscuring the chart’s individual categories; the priority is to name the largest and next-largest sectors directly while preserving the strong comparative detail.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

8.0
Scoring rule

A clear overview and accurate figures cover virtually all sectors, with effective grouping and comparisons.

Next step

State explicitly that service industries was the largest individual sector and manufacturing second, rather than relying mainly on broader groupings.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

8.0
Scoring rule

Information progresses logically from the dominant sectors to smaller and least popular destinations, with cohesive paragraphing.

Next step

Keep category groupings fully parallel so each paragraph’s comparisons remain immediately transparent.

LR

Lexical Resource

8.0
Scoring rule

A flexible and precise range of vocabulary describes proportions, rankings, and sector choices naturally.

Next step

Prefer the chart’s exact sector labels over broad umbrella terms whenever individual rankings are being summarised.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.0
Scoring rule

A wide range of complex structures is controlled accurately, with only minor agreement and phrasing slips.

Next step

Check singular-plural agreement in phrases such as ‘the next most popular choice’ after a compound subject.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors.

Your response

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20:00

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