The illustrations show how chocolate is produced.
Sample Response
The diagram depicts the process of producing chocolate.
Overall, making chocolate starts from growing trees and ends with pressing inner parts; it has 10 stages in total11 stages totally.
In the initial stage, the Cacao tree is grown in three different nations named South America, Africa and Indonesia, and there are ripe red pods on the handed of the tree. After that, the pods are harvestedpods have been harvested, and white cocoacoco beans were removed from themput out from it. Next, Beans were collected as well as fermented. Then, they are spread in the sunit spread in the sun so theyit can dry with the heat. In the fifth stage, they are put in large sacksit is put in large sacks. After this, they are transported by lorry or trainit is transported via lorry or train.
Moving further, beans have been taken to the factory through transport. Following this, they are roastedit has been roasted at 350 degrees FahrenheitCelsius. In the penultimate stagethe second last stage, beans are crushed in a crushing machinethe circular machine to remove the outer shell. Eventually, two rollers in the machine press the inner partspressed the inner part; by doing this, liquid chocolate is producedchocolate was produced in the form of liquid.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents the production sequence in a generally clear order and covers nearly all stages shown. Its main weakness is limited accuracy and control: the overview incorrectly states that there are eleven stages, and frequent awkward or erroneous forms reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to verify the overview against the diagram and use consistent passive structures with clear singular and plural references.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the start and end points and describes nearly every stage, but the stated total of eleven stages is inaccurate and some details are imprecisely expressed.
Count the ten numbered stages accurately and describe each transformation using the diagram's exact process relationships.
Coherence and Cohesion
The stages progress logically through a clear overview and two detail paragraphs, although linking is mechanical and several pronoun references are unclear.
Group the agricultural and factory stages clearly while replacing vague references such as 'it' with the specific pods or beans.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for the process, but repeated awkward collocations and word-choice errors such as 'put out' and 'through transport' limit precision.
Use accurate process verbs and collocations such as 'extracted,' 'spread out to dry,' 'transported,' and 'pressed.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent errors in tense, agreement, articles, capitalization, and pronoun reference reduce control.
Maintain the present simple passive throughout and check that every verb and pronoun agrees with its stated subject.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The illustrations show how chocolate is produced.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.