The charts below describe 4 sectors of employment, in 2009 and 2020, in two towns.
Sample Response
The fourtwo pie charts show the proportions employedshow information about employment in Manufacturing, Hospitality, Engineering and Teaching in two2 towns in 2009 and 2020in the years 2009 and 2020.
Overall, Deleteit can be clearly seen that there was a significant increase in the proportionnumber of people employed in Manufacturing in Town A, while Town B experienced a substantial decline in the same sector.
Taking a closer look at Town A, the amount of people employed in the Manufacturing sector tripled from 20% in 2009 to 60% in 2020, while the Engineering sector experienced a sharp decrease during the same period, from 60% to 17%, in an inverse pattern to Manufacturing sector’s figures. The changes in the employment shares for Hospitality and TeachingThe changes to Hospitality and Teaching sectors’ employment were quite minor between the two yearsin both years, with Hospitality slightly increasing from 11% to 15% and the share employed in Teaching fallingTeaching staff numbers shrinking from 9% to 8%.
Moving on to Town B, Hospitality and Teaching both increased to the same final shareexperienced growth of similar proportions, with Teaching doublingTeaching increasing twofold from 10% in 2009 to 20% in 2020 while Hospitality rose more modestlyand Hospitality slightly less, from 15% in 2009 to 20% in 2020. The Manufacturing sector witnessed a large reduction in its sharea large reduction in figures, from 40% to 25%, while Engineering did not changehad no changes.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its accurate, well-organised coverage of nearly all sector changes, supported by clear numerical comparisons. Its main limitation is an overview that captures the contrasting manufacturing trends but omits Town A's equally prominent engineering decline, while the introduction incorrectly refers to two charts. Prioritise a more comprehensive overview that identifies both dominant shifts and accurately describes the four-chart format.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report accurately covers the sector figures and major changes, but the overview omits Town A's sharp engineering decline and the introduction miscounts the charts.
Make the overview more comprehensive by pairing Town A's manufacturing rise with its corresponding engineering fall and identifying all four charts correctly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped by town, with clear paragraphing and smooth progression from the overview to detailed comparisons.
Refine a few long comparative sentences so that each contrast is expressed with maximum clarity and economy.
Lexical Resource
The response uses varied trend vocabulary and generally precise sector language, despite occasional awkward collocations such as “the amount of people” and “had no changes”.
Use more natural formulations such as “the proportion of people” and “remained unchanged” to sharpen lexical precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex comparative structures is used accurately, with only minor article and possessive phrasing issues.
Polish noun phrases by consistently using articles and possessives in constructions such as “the manufacturing sector's figures”.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below describe 4 sectors of employment, in 2009 and 2020, in two towns.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.