The charts below show changes in the proportion of energy produced from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003.
Sample Response
The rendered circular charts depict the information about the modifications which were occurred in the ratio of energy generated from different kinds of sources such as oil, natural gas, coal, nuclear, hydro and other renewable energy in a nation ranging from 1985 to 2003
Overall, it is clearlucid that the largestmaximum proportion of power was produced from oil in both years, whereas each other source accounted for a smaller proportion of energyother non-conventional sources were participating in less ratio to generate energy.
Turning to the detailsHaving a deep look at the pie charts, it is evident that the proportion of energy from oil decreasedproduction of energy from oil was decreased by 13 percentage pointsby 13% in 2003, from 52% in 1985which was noticed for 59% in 1985. However, power produced from coal increased to 22%increased to two-fifth ratio. Just 1% of the power1% power was generated from other renewable sourcesanother non-conventional source, and this increasedwhich was increased by 3 percentage pointsby the small change that was of 3% after 18 years.
Turning to the remaining categoriesMoving forward to the rest description of the circular charts, energy was produced from hydro in both years in the same proportion of 4%same proportion that was witnessed for 4%. In 1985, nuclear participated in producing 22%, which reduced and accounted for below one-tenth in 2003.13% and 23% noticed for production of energy from natural gas in 1985 and 2003, respectively.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear overview and covers every energy source, with several changes reported accurately, including natural gas, nuclear, hydro, and renewables. Its effectiveness is reduced by two conspicuous data errors for oil and coal, while frequent awkward grammatical and lexical choices make the description less precise. The priority is to verify all percentages and express changes through straightforward, controlled comparative sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview is relevant and most sources are covered accurately, but oil is misreported as 59% in 1985 and coal's 2003 share is wrongly described as two-fifths.
Check every percentage against the charts and highlight the largest rises and falls using exact start and end values.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and movement from overview to details are clear, although formulaic transitions and some poorly connected clauses disrupt the flow.
Group increasing, decreasing, and unchanged sources more deliberately and use direct transitions that show the relationship between figures.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied language for proportions and change, but frequent unnatural collocations reduce precision and sophistication.
Replace expressions such as modifications which were occurred and noticed for with standard verbs such as changed, accounted for, rose, and fell.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms is attempted, but passive constructions, missing verbs, punctuation, and clause formation are frequently inaccurate.
Use simpler complete sentences with controlled active verbs, and proofread carefully for sentence boundaries and required verb forms.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show changes in the proportion of energy produced from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.