The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home.
Sample Response
The demandDemand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer is illustrated in the graph. The use of electricity in an average English home is shown in the pie chart. From the graph it is generally obvious that the demand is in its maximum around 2100 in winter times and in its minimum around 400 being almost constant between 1200 and 2100 in winter times. In summer, however,During summer times on the other hand the demand reaches its peaktop point around 14:00around 1300 and the lowest point between about 06:00 and 09:00bottom point around 900 and remains relatively stable between 15:00 and 20:00being almost constant between 1550 and 2000.
In winterIn wither times the curve gradually increases to reach 40000 units of electricity by 3 o’clock in the morning. This is followed by a gradual declinefollowed by gradual decline to its lowest pointlimit of 30000 units at 9 o’clock. A gradual rise is obvious again to reach a relatively stable levelstationary level between 15:00 and 21:00between 3 o’clock and 9 o’clock of about 40000 units again. Then there is a sharp rise in the next hour to reach its maximum before falling sharplycollapsing again to a lower level by the end of the day.
In summerIn summer time the curve gradually decreasesdecrease to reach its lower limit around 9 o’clock of about 14,000 unitsa bit more that 10000 units. A gradual increase is noticed to reach its top of 20000 after which a stationary phase is obvious between 3 o’clock and 10 o’clock at night of about 15000 units.
The pie chart on the other hand shows that 52.5% of the electricity is used for heating rooms and water. 17.5% is consumed for ovens kettles and washing machines 15% is used in lighting TV and radio and finally 15% is consumed in the sue of vacuum cleaners food mixtures and electric tools.
This answer would probably exceed Band 6.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response covers both visuals, reports all four household-use proportions correctly, and follows each seasonal curve in a generally logical order. The main limitation is an inaccurate and incomplete overview, especially the winter minimum time and the missing headline contrast that winter demand is roughly double summer demand. Prioritise a concise comparative overview, then edit recurring spelling, agreement, and punctuation errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Both visuals receive substantial coverage and the usage percentages are accurate, but the overview misplaces the winter minimum and does not highlight the much higher winter demand.
State the dominant comparison that winter demand is about twice summer demand, and identify the winter low at roughly 9:00 rather than 4:00.
Coherence and Cohesion
Separate paragraphs for the overview, each season, and household uses create a clear sequence, though some long sentences and repetitive linking make the flow mechanical.
Use shorter sentences for distinct turning points and reduce repeated frames such as a gradual rise is obvious and on the other hand.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for describing movement and consumption, but noticeable errors such as wither, sue, food mixtures, and lower limit weaken precision.
Use accurate chart terms and collocations, including winter, use, food mixers, lowest point, peak, and level off.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but recurring agreement, article, comparative, and punctuation errors are noticeable despite meaning remaining clear.
Check finite verbs and sentence boundaries, correcting forms such as the curve decreases, a gradual decline, and a bit more than 10,000 units.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.