The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980.
Sample Response
This bar graph shows the number of prisoners in five different countries namelysuch as Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, United States, Canada for the period 1930 to 1980 in numbers.
Overall, Canada’s prisoner totalretention period is high at the beginning of the periodin starting years and least for Great Britain. After some years, the trend has changed that the United States increased significantlyUnited increased significantly and Australia decreased slightlyAustralia has decreased slightly.
In the year 1930, Canada has the highest that is 120 thousand prisoners, whereas has great Britain country has less crime rate with fewer prisoners that are almost 20 thousand prisoners. The two countries count is almost the same with 100 thousand prisoners whereas Australia had 60 thousand prisoners. For the period 1940 to 1970, there wereare several changes and prisoner numbers increasedthe crime rate is increased in some countries and decreased in some countries.
The United States roseThe country united states rose to above 120 thousand prisoners in 1940in the 1940 but later decreased gradually to almost 100 thousand and after minor ups and downsminimal up and downs the number decreasedthe number is decreased to below 100 thousand, whereas Canada decreasedCanada in decreased gradually initially and dropped to 80 thousand prisoners in the year 1970. The remaining countries are almost equal at about 70 thousand prisonerswith 60 thousand prisoners at the end of 1970.
Moreover, inIn the year 1980, there were large changes in almost all countries. The country United states rocketed to almost 140 thousand whereas the Great Britain, New Zealand and Canadagreat Britain new Zealand and cand increased minimally and were almost same with 80 thousand prisoners Whereas the country Australia fell to 50 thousand prisonersleapt to almost 40 thousand prisoners.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies several broad movements and uses separate paragraphs to move through the decades, so the main message is generally understandable. However, the overview is incomplete and a number of figures or trends are inaccurate, especially the 1970 values and Australia’s fall in 1980; the priority is to verify each series against the chart and summarise the clearest overall changes before adding detail.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A relevant overview and some correct figures are given, but important trends are omitted and several values or directions are inaccurate.
Highlight the United States’ overall rise and Great Britain’s growth, then correct the 1970 cluster at about 70 thousand and Australia’s fall to 50 thousand in 1980.
Coherence and Cohesion
Chronological paragraphing gives a recognisable progression, although long sentences and loosely connected comparisons make some passages hard to follow.
Separate each country comparison into controlled sentences and use referencing consistently instead of repeatedly restarting with ‘the country’.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary for trends and comparison, but frequent imprecise collocations, spelling errors, and inappropriate terms reduce clarity.
Use accurate chart language such as ‘prisoner population’, ‘fell’, and ‘fluctuated’, and avoid unsupported expressions like ‘crime rate’ or ‘retention period’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent agreement, article, word-order, capitalization, and clause-control errors often disrupt reading.
Prioritise complete subject-verb structures and clear sentence boundaries, especially in clauses beginning with ‘whereas’.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.