The maps below show the Happy Valley Shopping Center in 1982 and 2012.
Sample Response
The two maps show the radical changes that Happy Valley Shopping Center underwent during the period between 1982 and 2012. Overall, it is clear that the redevelopment resulted in the expansion ofresulted in expansion of the shopping mall and rearrangement of its internal facilitiesin-house facilities.
By 2012, the indoor shopping area spread to the west, and the outdoor lake was replaced by a furniture retailer. Additionally, considerable changes were made to the north-west part where a coffee shop was removed and an adjacent food store was relocated to the south-east corner of the mall. A sports shop and an electronics storeTwo stores selling sports and electronic goods took over the former coffee-shop and food-store locationstheir previous locations along the northern wall. A row of themed restaurants was addedA linear array of themed restaurants moved in along the eastern wall of the shopping centre, occupying space previously used by the sports, electronics and furniture storesreplacing sports and electronics shops. On the western side, the lobby area at the main entrance was removed to allow for a bigger central entertainment area.
Yet another alteration was made outside, where a path leading to the main entrance of the mall was removed and instead a spacious car park was built. The entrance, however, was kept in the same location and the rowslines of trees surrounding the shopping centre remained largely unchanged Deletewhere possible.
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response's strongest aspect is its fluent, well-organized comparison of the mall's expansion and extensive internal and external redevelopment, using precise location language. Its main limitation is a small amount of overstatement, particularly the claims that the entertainment area became bigger and that the surrounding trees were largely unchanged. The highest-priority improvement is to distinguish visually certain changes from inferred ones and mention one or two clearly unchanged facilities.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and accurately covers nearly all major changes, though a few details about size and tree preservation are not fully supported by the maps.
Avoid inferring an increase in the entertainment area's size and more precisely describe which trees remained or were removed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report moves coherently from the overview through internal redevelopment to exterior changes, with well-managed referencing and paragraphing.
Make the internal-versus-external organization even more explicit by introducing each detail paragraph with its comparative focus.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise vocabulary range conveys location, replacement, relocation, and expansion naturally, with strong collocational control.
Maintain this precision by using cautious wording whenever the map does not establish relative size or extent conclusively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are varied, accurate, and flexibly controlled throughout, with only negligible lapses in an otherwise polished response.
Continue refining article use in compact abstract phrases such as “the expansion of the shopping mall” for maximum grammatical polish.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The maps below show the Happy Valley Shopping Center in 1982 and 2012.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.