The table below shows the hours of leisure time spent by people in different age groups in Someland.

Sample Response

1

The table shows how people in different age groups spend their leisure time in Someland per yearover the course of a year. DeleteIt can be clearly seen that time spent on leisure activitiesthe amount of leisure time available varies considerably across the age groups and that people of different age groupslevels have very different ways of spending their leisure time. According to the figures, as people age in Someland their social activity decreasestheir social lives reduce. Teenagers and people in their 20stwenties spend on average 500 hours per year on socialising and 350 of those hours are350 hours of that time is with groups of four or more peoplea group of more than 4 people. Although the total hours of socialising in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s is fairly constant (between 300 and 350 hours)(between 300-350), socialising with four or more peoplesocialising with more than 4 people drops dramatically to 50 hours in the 30s and 40s age groups and only 25 hours among people aged 50 and overonly 25 from 50 years old. Group and individual exercise follow a similar pattern. People of all ages spend a substantial amount ofa good part of their leisure time on entertainment such as TV/video viewing and cinema. In both cases, teenagers and retired people spend around twice as much time as those who are at working age. Watching TV or videosHome entertainment ranges from 1,100-1,200 hoursjust over a thousand hours for teenagers and retired people and an average of 600 hours for everyone else. Cinema accounts for 100 hours of the teenagers and retired people’s leisure time and 25-50 hours for the rest. Overall,In conclusion we can see there is a significant trend towards solitary and smaller group activities as people grow older and that teenagers and retired people spend a lot more time on entertainment than those of working age do.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response is fluent, logically sequenced, and successfully highlights the broad decline in large-group socialising and the high entertainment figures for the youngest and oldest groups. Its main limitation is uneven data accuracy, particularly the claimed stability of total socialising, the exercise pattern, and cinema figures. Prioritise checking each generalisation against every relevant age column and support exercise trends with precise comparisons.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

6.5
Scoring rule

A clear overview and several useful comparisons are provided, but some trends and figures are inaccurate or overgeneralised.

Next step

Verify claims across all age groups and accurately compare the contrasting group and individual exercise figures.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The response progresses logically from socialising to exercise and entertainment, with cohesive links that generally clarify relationships.

Next step

Use distinct body paragraphs for related activity groups so that the comparisons are easier to scan and follow.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective expressions for trends and comparisons despite occasional awkward choices.

Next step

Replace imprecise phrases such as people of different age levels and their social lives reduce with more natural statistical language.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Scoring rule

A good range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few grammatical slips do not impede meaning.

Next step

Refine awkward age expressions such as from 50 years old and proofread punctuation around introductory and concluding clauses.

Put the feedback to work

Write this task while it is fresh

Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.

IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The table below shows the hours of leisure time spent by people in different age groups in Someland.

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.