The graph below shows the way people of a country invested their money in stock market during the years 2001-2006.
Sample Response
The diagram illustrates how much money citizens of a country invested in the stock market from 2001 to 2006. The investment amount is given in billionsbillion and is divided into bonds and stocksis categorised in bonds and stocks. A glance at the bar chart showsdepicts that the amount invested in the stock marketamount invested in stock market increased steadily over timeover the time and people investedfunded considerably more money in stocks than they did in bonds. As is presented in the graph, people bought bonds worth 100 billion and more than double than that of stocks in 2001. Next year the investment rose slightlythe investment slightly raised for both bonds and stocksboth for bonds and stocks and increased furtherwent further up in 2003. People’s investment in stocksstock went as high as 289 billion in 2004 compared to 162 billion in bonds. The same trend continued in the next two years and in 2006, total investment in stocks by the people of this country amounted to over 300 billionamounted over 300 billion, almost 50% more than five years earlieralmost a 50% increase than that of 5 years earlier. That yearIn this year, people purchased bondsbond worth 188 billion, around 120 billion less than the amount invested in stocksless than that of stocks and exactly 88 billion more than in 2001more than that of 2001.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear overview and selects several accurate figures, with the rising investment trend and the consistently higher spending on stocks communicated effectively. Its main weakness is language control: awkward comparisons and collocations sometimes obscure otherwise accurate information, and the single-block presentation weakens organisation. The highest priority is to use precise comparative structures and separate the overview from the detailed data in clearly focused paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several accurate figures cover the main upward trend and the large gap between stocks and bonds.
Clarify the 2001 comparison and include one or two more precise year-to-year comparisons without ambiguous wording.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses chronologically with appropriate linking, but it is compressed into one paragraph and some references are unclear.
Use separate overview and detail paragraphs, and replace vague references such as 'that of' with explicit nouns.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range for trends and quantities, though several collocations and word choices are awkward or imprecise.
Use standard chart language such as 'rose', 'stood at', and 'was higher than' with accurate singular and plural forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but article, comparison, agreement, and noun-form errors recur.
Prioritise accurate comparative clauses and countable-noun forms, then proofread articles and subject-verb agreement.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the way people of a country invested their money in stock market during the years 2001-2006.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.