The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014.
Sample Response
The given bar graph lists the top ten countries in terms of their travel-related spending in 2014. It also shows the amount of money spent by travellers in those countries in the same year.
Generally speaking, China was aton the top of the list while the US and Germany were in the second and thirdthirst positions respectively.
In detaildetails, China, with approximatelywith its approximately 110 billion USD spending in 2014 ranked at the top of the list of countries by travel spendingtop-ten consumer spending countries in the world for the year 2014. NextThereupon, the United States and Germany stood in second and third placeat the second the third positions with roughly spending of roughly 85 billion dollars85 billion dollar spending. However, it is noticeable that, even though the United Kingdom was in fourth place, it spent only 55 billion dollars58 billion dollar, which was nearly half of China'sChinese spending. Singapore, South Korea, and Hong Kong’s spending on travel were nearly 20 billion USD in this year. India'sIndian expenditure was somewhat more than that of Malaysia and Taiwan. IndiaIndian spent almost 1517 billion which was 5 billion higher than Taiwan7 billion hither than Taiwan. Taiwan stood at the last position of the list with its 10 billion in spending10 million spendings.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear overview and broad coverage of all ten countries, with most rankings and approximate figures accurately reported. Its main weakness is precision: several awkward word choices and grammatical errors reduce control, and Taiwan’s figure is incorrectly given in millions rather than billions. Prioritise checking units and comparative wording against the chart, then edit article, agreement, and word-form errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and generally accurate coverage identify the main ranking and nearly all country figures, although Taiwan’s unit is seriously misstated.
Check every unit against the chart and highlight the pronounced fall from the leading three countries to the remaining group.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, overview, and detail paragraph create clear progression, though some linking expressions are awkward or imprecise.
Use straightforward sequencing and comparison links instead of forced transitions such as ‘Thereupon’.
Lexical Resource
The response shows sufficient range for rankings and expenditure, but several spelling, word-choice, and word-form errors reduce precision.
Replace inaccurate forms such as ‘thirst’, ‘hither’, and ‘spendings’ with precise comparative and expenditure vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms communicates the comparisons clearly, but errors with articles, agreement, plurals, and sentence structure recur.
Proofread noun phrases and clauses for missing articles, correct plural forms, and complete coordination.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.