The chart shows the employment status of adults in the US in 2003 and 2013.
Sample Response
The provided bar charts reveal the united states of America’s adolescent’s employment status in 2003 and 2013; employment status was divided into six different categories.
Overall, we can clearly see American adults dominant in employment categories year by year except for business, medical, and unemployed. In 2003 the highest number of employees was in business, a position taken by the self-employedthe business field which places taken by self-employed in 2013.
For 2003, the self-employed, unemployed, and building categoriesself-employed and unemployed and building categories had the same proportion of adult employees at about one tenthon account of a tenth. Business had the highest percentageWith the highest percentage business was top on the list with about 47%46%. However, the hotel industry had the lowest figureleast was the hotel industry, about 4%below 5%. Education and training hadEducation training had about 8% of the adult population7% adult population while medical had one fifthone in fifth.
After a decade, the percentage of adults doubled in the building sectorwas double in the building field while halved in the medical sectorhalf on the medical side. With 5% unemployed was declined, the major population was on self-employed with three in tenth. Business categories adults population go down 18%. Education training and hotel industry employment increasedjumped up and both reached approximately the same percentage as medicine had in 2003remained the same percentage as medical had in 2003.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response covers nearly all categories and correctly identifies the leading category in each year, which is its strongest feature. However, the overview is partly unclear, the chart is misidentified as having six categories, and frequent grammatical and collocational errors make several comparisons difficult to follow. Prioritise writing a precise overview and expressing changes with simple, accurate comparative sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report covers nearly all categories and identifies the two yearly leaders, but the overview is unclear and the chart is wrongly described as having six categories.
State the main shifts clearly in the overview and verify every category count and comparison against the chart.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure is logical, although faulty linking and unclear sentence relationships sometimes interrupt progression.
Use straightforward comparison patterns and connect each sentence to one clearly defined category or trend.
Lexical Resource
There is some useful trend vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce clarity and precision.
Replace awkward expressions such as 'on account of a tenth' with precise phrases such as 'accounted for 10 percent'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence structures, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, possession, and clause formation sometimes impede meaning.
Prioritise accurate subject-verb agreement and complete comparative clauses before attempting more complex structures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart shows the employment status of adults in the US in 2003 and 2013.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.